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Andy Rooney [1919-2011] American

Rank: 101
Journalist, Television writer

Andrew Aitken "Andy" Rooney was an American radio and television writer who was best known for his weekly broadcast "A Few Minutes with Andy Rooney," a part of the CBS News program 60 Minutes from 1978 to 2011.

Computers, Chance, Christmas, Food, Happiness, Pet, Respect, Sad, Smile, Teacher, Technology, Time, Truth

Quote	Tags	Rank
I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.	Food, Time	101
If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.	Smile	102
One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly.	Christmas	103
The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort - the opening, terror. Conversely, the closing of a door can be a sad and final thing - the opening a wonderfully joyous moment.	Sad	104
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.	Computers	105
Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.	Teacher	106
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.	Chance	107
Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.		108
Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.	Happiness	109
People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.	Truth	110
Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads.	Computers	111
It's paradoxical, that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone.		112
I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen to you.		113
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.	Pet	114
Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.	Technology	115
Would a real man get caught eating a twinkie?		116
We need people who can actually do things. We have too many bosses and too few workers.		117
Elephants and grandchildren never forget.		118
Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of what they want to say and they're frustrated. A lot of smart people do it to pretend they aren't very smart - want to be just one of the boys.		119
Don't rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.		120
I like ice hockey, but it's a frustrating game to watch. It's hard to keep your eyes on both the puck and the players and too much time passes between scoring in hockey. There are usually more fights than there are points.		121
The Super Bowl isn't for kids, I had a great time though and it was worth every nickel of it because by doing this lame piece about the game I can put it on my expense account.		122
Writers don't retire. I will always be a writer.		123
I obviously have a knack for getting on paper what a lot of people have thought and didn't realize they thought. And they say, 'Hey, yeah!' And they like that.		124
Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of President Bush helping the kind of people they wish they were one of.		125
I don't pick subjects as much as they pick me.		126
We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don't make any big ones.		201
Nothing in fine print is ever good news.		202
If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.		203
The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.		204
The world must be filled with unsuccessful musical careers like mine, and it's probably a good thing. We don't need a lot of bad musicians filling the air with unnecessary sounds. Some of the professionals are bad enough.		205
The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as 'progress', doesn't spread.	Respect	206
Death is a distant rumor to the young.		207
Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.		208
When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.		209
Let's make a statement to the airlines just to get their attention. We'll pick a week next year and we'll all agree not to go anywhere for seven days.		210
As an old reporter, we have a few secrets, and the first thing is we try the phone book.		211
The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians.		212
All men are not created equal but should be treated as though they were under the law.		213
Figure skating is an unlikely Olympic event but its good television. It's sort of a combination of gymnastics and ballet. A little sexy too which doesn't hurt.		214
The dullest Olympic sport is curling, whatever 'curling' means.		215
My own time is passing fast enough without some national game to help it along.		216
A writer's job is to tell the truth.		217
I'm in a position of feeling secure enough so that I can say what I think is right and if so many people think it's wrong that I get fired, well, I've got enough to eat.		218
I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran.		219
I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it comes in the mail next month. If you don't return the form the area you live in might get less government money and you wouldn't want that to happen, would you.		220
I don't think the government is out to get me or help someone else get me but it wouldn't surprise me if they were out to sell me something or help someone else sell me something. I mean, why else would the Census Bureau want to know my telephone number?		221

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