| Author | Quote | Rank |
|---|
| Charles de Gaulle | The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs. | 101 |
| Demetri Martin | I love women, but I feel like you can't trust some of them. Some of them are liars, you know? Like I was in the park and I met this girl, she was cute and she had a dog. And I went up to her, we started talking. She told me her dog's name. Then I said, 'Does he bite?' She said, 'No.' And I said, 'Oh yeah? Then how does he eat?' Liar. | 101 |
| Jane Goodall | You cannot share your life with a dog, as I had done in Bournemouth, or a cat, and not know perfectly well that animals have personalities and minds and feelings. | 101 |
| Eddie Izzard | Cats have a scam going - you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away; that's the deal. | 101 |
| Josh Billings | A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.  | 101 |
| Martin Buber | An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language. | 101 |
| Ogden Nash | The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat. | 101 |
| Rita Rudner | I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. | 101 |
| Greg Mottola | I have a little bit of a pet peeve about how the middle class is depicted in movies. I feel like they tend to be either depicted in a very sentimental way, where everybody has a heart of gold except for the villains you're supposed to hiss at, or there's a sort of indie-style version... When it's done well, it's brilliant, it's 'Blue Velvet.' | 101 |
| James Herriot | If having a soul means being able to feel love and loyalty and gratitude, then animals are better off than a lot of humans. | 101 |
| Konrad Lorenz | It is a good morning exercise for a research scientist to discard a pet hypothesis every day before breakfast. It keeps him young. | 101 |
| Kristin Davis | I'm not about to go out and buy a snake for a pet. I mean, I may have faced a few fears but I'm not insane. | 101 |
| Lefty Gomez | I've got a new invention. It's a revolving bowl for tired goldfish. | 101 |
| Anne Tyler | Ever consider what pets must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul - chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth! | 101 |
| Sara Zarr | We write in ways that, we generally hope, reflect real life, or at least look familiar to humans. And in life, recurring themes are a recurring theme. We never quite conquer a pet vice or a relationship pattern or a communication habit. We're haunted by our particular demons. | 101 |
| W. L. George | Cats know how to obtain food without labor, shelter without confinement, and love without penalties. | 101 |
| Edwin Way Teale | Those who wish to pet and baby wild animals 'love' them. But those who respect their natures and wish to let them live normal lives, love them more. | 101 |
| Hippolyte Taine | I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. | 101 |
| Laura Mennell | Millions of animals are euthanized every year because shelters can't find homes for them. Buying animals from pet stores also tends to support puppy and cat mills, many of which have deplorable conditions for animals, which shouldn't be tolerated. | 101 |
| Linda Blair | It's difficult to understand why people don't realize that pets are gifts to mankind. | 101 |
| Kaspar Hauser | Many cats are the death of the mouse. | 101 |
| Robert Southey | A kitten is in the animal world what a rosebud is in the garden. | 101 |
| Abbey Lee Kershaw | A lizard is a perfect pet for a model. They only need feeding once a fortnight. And I'm always travelling, so it's perfect. If I had a dog, it would drop dead of starvation. | 101 |
| Cleveland Amory | As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows, cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human kind. | 101 |
| James Cromwell | Pets are humanizing. They remind us we have an obligation and responsibility to preserve and nurture and care for all life. | 101 |
| Rod McKuen | Cats have it all - admiration, an endless sleep, and company only when they want it. | 101 |
| Bill Dana | I had been told that the training procedure with cats was difficult. It's not. Mine had me trained in two days. | 101 |
| Roger Caras | Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. | 101 |
| Joel Hodgson | Gypsy was the name my brother gave a pet turtle he had. I always thought it was so peculiar. | 101 |
| Jim Murphy | A move to a different town or school gives us new places to explore, new people to meet; a lost pet means we have to organize a careful search; baby-sitting requires looking out for dangers a young child can't foresee; a car crash or fire demands that we get help immediately. | 101 |
| Martha Scott | Do not make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans or they will treat you like dogs. | 101 |
| John Gallagher, Jr. | I don't have a pet, but I dream of someday getting a pug dog whom I will name Croque Monsieur so that I may alternate between calling him Croque, Monsieur or his full name: Croque Monsieur. I'll more than likely only use his first and last name most often when he's been bad. | 101 |
| John Bacon | I heard that Jesus had a pet dinosaur. Evolution must be a myth then. | 101 |
| Anatole France | Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened. | 102 |
| Ian Dunbar | Learning from wolves to interact with pet dogs makes about as much sense as, 'I want to improve my parenting - let's see how the chimps do it!' | 102 |
| Mason Cooley | Cats are inquisitive, but hate to admit it. | 102 |
| Glenn Howerton | One of my biggest pet peeves is that I just don't like it when characters do things that are funny to the writer, but you don't know why they're doing it and it doesn't make any sense. | 102 |
| James Herriot | Cats are connoisseurs of comfort. | 102 |
| Torrey DeVitto | I do have the most adorable little Chihuahua mix. I adopted him about 3 1/2 years ago from Much Love pet adoption, and he has been the love of my life ever since. His name is Beau, or as my sister and I like to call him ' mushy mush' because he truly is just a pile of loving mush that just melts in your arms. | 102 |
| Aubrey Peeples | I started keeping track of my pet peeves and so far have counted over 160... but to pick one: muffins. They're imposters. They think they're breakfast food, but really, they are just terrible cupcakes. | 102 |
| Dick Van Patten | I love cats. | 102 |
| Linda Blair | People always joke that 'dog' spells 'god' backwards. They should consider that it might be the higher power coming down to see just how well they do, what kind of people they are. The animals are right here, right in front of us. And how we treat these companions is a test. | 102 |
| Robert Wagner | Pets have more love and compassion in them than most humans. | 102 |
| Shelley Morrison | Teach your children how to behave with animals. Adopt a pet. Don't go buy one. Please. That's a sin. Let's get these puppy mills out of business. | 102 |
| Brian P. Cleary | Our cat is kind dove shellfish, and thinks the world is hers, She finds a comfy spot and then we pet turtle sheep purrs. | 102 |
| Earl Derr Biggers | Only very brave mouse makes nest in cat's ear. | 102 |
| Paul Gallico | Kittens can happen to anyone. | 102 |
| Austin Stowell | I would say I don't like people who are really into themselves or are very materialistic. Just always talking themselves up. Not being real is the pet peeve. Be true to yourself. | 102 |
| Andre Norton | Perhaps it is because cats do not live by human patterns, do not fit themselves into prescribed behavior, that they are so united to creative people. | 102 |
| Chris Coons | I'm no one's pet, and I intend to be an independent voice in the U.S. Senate. | 102 |
| Marie Corelli | I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night. | 102 |
| Juan Gris | I always pet a dog with my left hand because if he bit me I'd still have my right hand to paint with. | 102 |
| George Carlin | Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. | 103 |
| Robert A. Heinlein | Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. | 103 |
| Kinky Friedman | Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail. | 103 |
| Wilbur Wright | I am an enthusiast, but not a crank in the sense that I have some pet theories as to the proper construction of a flying machine. I wish to avail myself of all that is already known and then, if possible, add my mite to help on the future worker who will attain final success. | 103 |
| H. G. Bissinger | Actually, my dog I think is the only person who consistently loves me all the time. | 103 |
| Nafisa Joseph | I used to love dogs until I discovered cats. | 103 |
| Nick Lampson | We are telling veterans they must sacrifice to pay for the pet projects and contracts to campaign donors of powerful members of Congress. | 103 |
| Paul Rudd | I think there's something great and generic about goldfish. They're everybody's first pet. | 103 |
| Rachel Sklar | It is a pet peeve of mine when people throw around arguments citing 'Fair Use' and yet fail to actually explain what a fair use argument actually is. | 103 |
| Robert Crais | I had a big Akita, Yoshi, who was fabulous. I loved him. We lost him when he was 12, and I've never been able to replace him. Normally, most people lose a pet and get another and keep going on. But it just felt wrong to me; it felt disloyal. | 103 |
| Bob Barker | Nothing gives me quite so much joy as when people tell me they've had their pets spayed or neutered. | 103 |
| Bruce Cameron | When we adopt a dog or any pet, we know it is going to end with us having to say goodbye, but we still do it. And we do it for a very good reason: They bring so much joy and optimism and happiness. They attack every moment of every day with that attitude. | 103 |
| Connor Franta | I'm very into Taylor Swift. From her music to her wardrobe, she is absolutely killing it. Also, she has adorable cats that I would love to pet. | 103 |
| Jane Siberry | I brought a Border Collie back home to Vancouver from Wales - where some of my ancestors are from - and needed to challenge him in other ways than just being my pet. So I investigated sheep herding and took a few lessons, and decided I was probably learning more than my dog! | 103 |
| Michael Nutter | If you have a deep-seated need to be loved and admired every day, you shouldn't be in politics. You should go work at a pet store. | 103 |
| Deanna Raybourn | One of the joys of writing historical fiction is the chance to read as much as you like on a pet subject - so much that you could easily bore your friends senseless on the topic. | 103 |
| August Strindberg | People who keep dogs are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves. | 103 |
| Josh Duhamel | I've teamed up with PetSmart Charities to celebrate the five million homeless pets who've found homes through their in-store adoption centers, and to spread the word about how we can work together to save millions more pets' lives and, ultimately, end pet homelessness. | 103 |
| Matt Cohler | The same regions of the brain light up when someone touches their smartphone as when they touch a family member or a pet. | 103 |
| Jerry Ferrara | My biggest pet peeve are just girls who go to sports bars who have no intention on caring what teams are playing, like they're looking for just a night out. That drives me more crazy than anything else. Like, don't pretend to be a sports fan. | 103 |
| Jim O'Heir | One of my obsession is animals. I'm into dog rescues. It drives me crazy when people go to pet stores and buy dogs. There are so many dogs that need a good home. And this sounds crazy, but I really believe they know what is happening and are appreciative, and I just think they make for the best pets. | 103 |
| Sigmund Freud | Time spent with cats is never wasted. | 104 |
| Albert Schweitzer | There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats. | 104 |
| Nikki Reed | I do feel like by buying rats from a pet store, you are saving them because if not, they would get fed to a snake or something. | 104 |
| Tracey Emin | I really love animals. My cat is my little soul mate. He's not just a cat, he's my friend. | 104 |
| Antonio Banderas | Cats are very independent animals. They're very sexy, if you want. Dogs are different. They're familiar. They're obedient. You call a cat, you go, 'Cat, come here.' He doesn't come to you unless you have something in your hand that he thinks might be food. They're very free animals, and I like that. | 104 |
| Emmylou Harris | Animals have a much better attitude to life and death than we do. They know when their time has come. We are the ones that suffer when they pass, but it's a healing kind of grief that enables us to deal with other griefs that are not so easy to grab hold of. | 104 |
| James Herriot | I wish people would realize that animals are totally dependent on us, helpless, like children, a trust that is put upon us. | 104 |
| Pam Brown | Kittens are wide-eyed, soft and sweet. With needles in their jaws and feet. | 104 |
| Patti Scialfa | People were a little leery when I was doing the press for my last album 'Rumble Doll,' yes. It's always that thing that this is a dilettante or a pet project. | 104 |
| Paula Cole | Just watching my cats can make me happy. | 104 |
| Ron Reagan | We have three cats. It's like having children, but there is no tuition involved. | 104 |
| Chelsea Cain | You know what I hate? I hate people who give me plants. The whole giving someone plants - it's like giving someone a pet. I'm giving you responsibility, I'm giving you a thing that you now have to take care of for, like, a year until it dies, and then I'm giving you sadness and guilt. | 104 |
| Connie Stevens | Pet me, touch me, love me, that's what I get when I perform. That's when I'm really getting what I want. | 104 |
| Dick Van Patten | We wanted a pet food based on sound scientific principles and truth, not marketing hype. | 104 |
| Theophile Gautier | The cat is a dilettante in fur. | 104 |
| Christine McVie | I'm looking more like my dogs every day - it must be the shaggy fringe and the ears. | 104 |
| Richard Dean Anderson | Dogs are my favorite people. | 104 |
| Brooke Nevin | I'm a fan of the old 'Creature Features' like 'Critters,' and 'Gremlins' and 'Tremors.' 'Jaws' is classic. It's funny that I still like those films because I remember my mom would tease me about getting a pet Critter to keep under my bed. | 104 |
| Alyson Stoner | I am a pet person. My dog actually lives in Georgia now. But I work with animal trainers and pets quite often. I also volunteer at different places like animal shelters. It's good to be around pets. They kind of put things into perspective. They're easygoing, loyal, and they seem to get it, even when humans don't. | 104 |
| Joseph Wood Krutch | Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many different ailments, but I have never heard of one who suffered from insomnia. | 104 |
| Alfred North Whitehead | If a dog jumps into your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. | 105 |
| Bernard Williams | There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. | 105 |
| Edith Wharton | My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. | 105 |
| Taylor Caldwell | I like animals because they are not consciously cruel and don't betray each other. | 105 |
| Thornton Wilder | Many who have spent a lifetime in it can tell us less of love than the child that lost a dog yesterday. | 105 |
| William H. Macy | I was a dog in a past life. Really. I'll be walking down the street and dogs will do a sort of double take. Like, Hey, I know him. | 105 |
| Mickey Rivers | It was so cold today that I saw a dog chasing a cat, and the dog was walking. | 105 |
| Nicole Anderson | I was home schooled in high school but was definitely the nerd in middle school. I was in three academic clubs, a huge book worm, and the teacher's pet. I was kind of an easy target for bullies. | 105 |
| Dick Van Patten | If I was good each week, my father would take me to a different pet store each Saturday. I had a snake, horny toads, turtles, lizards, rabbits, guinea pigs... I kept my alligator in the bathtub until it got too big. | 105 |
| Max Eastman | Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails. | 105 |
| Sheherazade Goldsmith | If you're trying to cut down the distance travelled from the farm to your plate, it makes sense to do the same for your pet. If we all shifted our bias towards sustainable pet food, we would be helping more than just our faithful friends. | 105 |
| Roger Caras | Cats don't like change without their consent. | 105 |
| Alexander Theroux | It's true, you can never eat a pet you name. And anyway, it would be like a ventriloquist eating his dummy. | 105 |
| Justin Chambers | And I strongly believe people should rescue dogs, or, at the very least, listen to Bob Barker and have your pet spayed or neutered. | 105 |
| Immanuel Kant | He who is cruel to animals becomes hard also in his dealings with men. We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals. | 106 |
| Angus Young | There are all sorts of cute puppy dogs, but it doesn't stop people from going out and buying Dobermans. | 106 |
| Billy Connolly | My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo. | 106 |
| Cesar Millan | A dog is a vehicle, you know; a dog is a window to Mother Nature, and that's the closest species we have. | 106 |
| Howard Stringer | I was very short. Everybody else was two years older in my class, and I had curly hair and was teacher's pet. | 106 |
| Rebecca Hall | There are people all over the world who like to write fan letters in the voice of their pet: 'Hello, my name is Fifi and I'm a labrador and I think you're great. Paw paw!' | 106 |
| Elizabeth Bibesco | There is something very independent about French balloons - you feel you couldn't make a pet of one. | 106 |
| Tim Hudson | I hate when people don't keep their word or they are late. Tardiness is a big pet peeve of mine. | 106 |
| Laura Mennell | Learning about factory farms and their horrendous treatment of animals is what made me become vegetarian in the first place. I also support the education of the public on adopting pets from animal shelters or saving homeless animals off the street in lieu of buying them from pet shops. | 106 |
| Ralph Boston | To this day I don't ever remember seeing a pet inside Moscow, I never saw anyone carrying a dog, or leading a dog. Err I finally saw a, a pet some years later in Kiev, so I thought that life must have been, different. | 106 |
| Ali Liebegott | I'm a writer who stacks cat food for a living. It's true: I have a master's degree in creative writing, I've published two critically successful books, and I get paid to replenish the shelves of my local food co-op with pet food, sponges and toilet paper. Nine days out of 10, I do it quite happily. | 106 |
| Jessica Stroup | I was raised in a strict Southern household in Lexington, South Carolina, and I remember sneaking off to watch 'Pet Cemetery' as a kid. After seeing those animals reincarnate, I screamed and couldn't sleep for weeks, but watched it again and again. | 106 |
| Stephen Hawking | A few years ago, the city council of Monza, Italy, barred pet owners from keeping goldfish in curved bowls... saying that it is cruel to keep a fish in a bowl with curved sides because, gazing out, the fish would have a distorted view of reality. But how do we know we have the true, undistorted picture of reality? | 107 |
| Alfred A. Montapert | Animals are reliable, many full of love, true in their affections, predictable in their actions, grateful and loyal. Difficult standards for people to live up to. | 107 |
| Chris Pratt | I have a lot of plants and fish and a pet lizard and Venus flytraps. I have a whole ecosystem in my room, like a running waterfall and different lights and sensors set on digital timers. | 107 |
| James Herriot | I have felt cats rubbing their faces against mine and touching my cheek with claws carefully sheathed. These things, to me, are expressions of love. | 107 |
| Seal | Packing is my pet hate. | 107 |
| Booboo Stewart | Pet stores just sell their animals. | 107 |
| Jodi Kantor | I spent a lot of time in the White House in the public areas where reporters are allowed to go, but I spoke to people about the private quarters as well. Some of the things I learned were small, novelistic details. For example, the fact that there were still pet stains on the carpets from the Bush cats when the Obamas moved in. | 107 |
| Groucho Marx | Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. | 108 |
| Caroline Knapp | Before you get a dog, you can't quite imagine what living with one might be like; afterward, you can't imagine living any other way. | 108 |
| Franklin P. Jones | Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job. | 108 |
| Haile Selassie | It is much easier to show compassion to animals. They are never wicked. | 108 |
| Kirsty Gallacher | I love animals and feel very strongly that people should not be allowed to buy a pet if they are not able to look after it. | 108 |
| Nicole Anderson | I was in three academic clubs, a huge book worm and the teacher's pet. I was kind of an easy target for bullies. | 108 |
| Sophie Ellis-Bextor | I try not to wear anything I have to fidget with - there's nothing worse than wearing something and pulling down the hem and re-adjusting the top. My pet hate is when girls wear those strapless dresses and spend the whole night yanking them up. | 108 |
| Agnes Repplier | A kitten is chiefly remarkable for rushing about like mad at nothing whatever, and generally stopping before it gets there. | 108 |
| Andrea Seigel | I do not believe that I will ever write an adult novel from an animal's point of view unless someday it becomes suddenly appealing to me to make a narrator a mentally ill pet. Never say never. | 108 |
| Juliette Lewis | I kind of imagine myself at eighty, a cat lady. | 108 |
| Cesar Millan | Owners lavish love on their pets, which is why so many go from non-aggressive pups to being out of control when they're older. People just don't realise their dog must respect them as leader of the pack. | 109 |
| Kin Hubbard | No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish. | 109 |
| Oliver Herford | Cat: a pygmy lion who loves mice, hates dogs, and patronizes human beings. | 109 |
| Agnes Repplier | It is impossible for a lover of cats to banish these alert, gentle, and discriminating friends, who give us just enough of their regard and complaisance to make us hunger for more. | 109 |
| Paul Shaffer | Why would you want to do anything else but rescue a pet? | 109 |
| Mike Rutherford | I have this pet thing about how global communications are moving so fast now, throwing information at you, making everything available to you, and yet I feel it's leaving us more and more isolated. | 109 |
| Garrison Keillor | Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function. | 110 |
| Jules Verne | I believe cats to be spirits come to earth. A cat, I am sure, could walk on a cloud without coming through. | 110 |
| Quentin Tarantino | Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way. | 110 |
| Robert Benchley | A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. | 110 |
| Busy Philipps | I have the same pet peeve as Anderson Cooper, which is bare feet in public. I hate it. It so grosses me out, especially in New York. Oh my God, New York in the summer with people and their feet in their sandals and their flip-flops, like get it away! | 110 |
| Hope Davis | I've been lucky. I've made films that I really like. It's been a combination of what comes to me and what I choose. I've gone after lots of things that I didn't get, pet projects that everybody ends up chasing after. Really, you're lucky if you get anything. | 110 |
| Keshia Knight Pulliam | My mom didn't believe in putting chemicals in hair. But when I got to college, we didn't have A/C in our dorms freshman year. So after several days of waking up looking like a Chia Pet, I was like 'OK, I'm gonna get a perm.' And then my hair revolted and fell out. I was over that quick, fast and in a hurry. | 110 |
| Michael Morpurgo | Animals are sentient, intelligent, perceptive, funny and entertaining. We owe them a duty of care as we do to children. | 110 |
| Tony Snow | Pet lovers know that animals sometimes understand us better than we do, and the annals of human sin and desire provide plenty of stories to drive the point home. | 110 |
| Alyssa Milano | Every time I decide I want a child I get another pet. I have 3 dogs, 13 birds and 3 horses, what does that tell you? | 110 |
| Beverley Mitchell | I was in New York and I walked into this pet store and came out with a dog. | 110 |
| Frederick Pollock | Crabbed and obscure definitions are of no use beyond a narrow circle of students, of whom probably every one has a pet one of his own. | 111 |
| French Montana | My dream pet? I like a couple of them, man: monkey, I love dogs. See, tigers, I don't know - I can't be playing with something like that. A monkey, I can handle it. A dog, yeah; I would get a monkey. | 111 |
| Jim Davis | Way down deep, we're all motivated by the same urges. Cats have the courage to live by them. | 111 |
| Tabatha Coffey | Being successful is about professionalism, and chewing gum is unprofessional. Its also a huge pet peeve of mine. | 111 |
| Brian Blessed | I fed my yak on my spare Cadbury chocolate 21,0000ft up Everest. It was a blonde, very sweet female yak. I made it my pet after that. | 111 |
| Katie Holmes | I have some road rage inside of me. Traffic, especially in L.A., is a pet peeve of mine. | 111 |
| Rachel Corrie | I want to be a lawyer, a dancer, an actress, a mother, a wife, a children's author, a distance runner, a poet, a pianist, a pet store owner, an astronaut, an environmental and humanitarian activist, a psychiatrist, a ballet teacher, and the first woman president. | 111 |
| Joseph Wood Krutch | Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want. | 111 |
| Jane Badler | Children are my pet cause. I have a foster child in El Salvador, and whenever I'm home, I work for the Adam Walsh Foundation, which finds missing children. I also do some hospital visits and other things for the Make-a-Wish Foundation. | 111 |
| Edgar Allan Poe | I wish I could write as mysterious as a cat. | 112 |
| David Beckham | Some men over-tweeze their eyebrows, and it's just too perfect. Men are meant to have kind of a bushy brow. Too much aftershave is also off-putting; it's one of my pet hates. | 112 |
| Jack White | Vinyl is the real deal. I've always felt like, until you buy the vinyl record, you don't really own the album. And it's not just me or a little pet thing or some kind of retro romantic thing from the past. It is still alive. | 112 |
| Chris Chocola | The government needs to help those in need, but members of Congress shouldn't take advantage of the situation and use a national tragedy as an opportunity to spend taxpayer dollars on their pet projects. | 112 |
| Poe Ballantine | Chadron had a water tower, grain elevators, a tanning salon, a video rental store, a small liberal arts college, a Hardee's, a stoplight, and a curling yellow sign in the pet store window that read, 'Hamsters and Tarantulas Featured Today.' | 112 |
| Joseph Altuzarra | One of my biggest pet peeves is well-dressed designers. If you spend that much time thinking about your own clothes, you're not spending enough time thinking about what you're designing. | 113 |
| George Eliot | Animals are such agreeable friends - they ask no questions; they pass no criticisms. | 114 |
| Andy Rooney | The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. | 114 |
| Ann Landers | Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. | 114 |
| Rachael Ray | We created a line of pet food called Nutrish that's made to human standards, and 100 percent of the proceeds go to animal rescue. One of our top-tier donors is the ASPCA, and they help us challenge animal shelters all across the country to get more animals placed in homes. | 114 |
| Zachary Levi | I could probably give you a list of a dozen pet peeves I have about my own physicality and why I couldn't get a second date. | 114 |
| Art Alexakis | I have a pet peeve about bands that don't play their hits. I think it's kind of selfish. | 114 |
| Damon Lindelof | I saw myself as a teacher's pet but with a little of Ed Haskell mixed in. I was the teacher's pet, but that didn't mean that I was trying to pull one over. | 114 |
| Jeanette Winterson | I live alone, with cats, books, pictures, fresh vegetables to cook, the garden, the hens to feed. | 114 |
| Maggie Stiefvater | My parents were very permissive when it came to animals. As long as we earned the money to buy them and built whatever structure it was they were going to live in, we could have any kind of pet we wanted. They would have let us have a rhinoceros if we could have afforded it. | 114 |
| Daniela Bobadilla | My biggest pet peeve is when people don't admit what they've done. | 114 |
| John Paul DeJoria | I don't micromanage, but I do care deeply about every product we make. Every one goes through me, and I try most of our products before they go to market, including our John Paul Pet flea and tick shampoo. If I don't like it, it's not coming out. | 114 |
| George Eliot | We long for an affection altogether ignorant of our faults. Heaven has accorded this to us in the uncritical canine attachment. | 115 |
| Milan Kundera | Dogs are our link to paradise. They don't know evil or jealousy or discontent. | 115 |
| Natalie Portman | When a guy tells me I'm cute, it's not something desirable. Cute is more like what you want your pet to be. | 115 |
| Donald McCaig | Once they become AKC registered, the newspapers will become flooded with ads for them. And you'll see Border collies in pet stores and animal shelters. | 115 |
| Kate Beckinsale | I have more pet peeves than anybody: people talking in the movie theater, people eating in the movie theater loudly, people being rude, people making noise when you're supposed to be asleep, like drilling noises outside. I could be here all day. | 115 |
| Jon Katz | Taking responsibility and having faith in your own judgment will help you make good choices and decisions at the end of your pet's life. | 115 |
| Al Franken | Veterans report that service dogs help break their isolation. People will often avert their eyes when they see a wounded veteran. But when the veteran has a dog, the same people will come up and say, 'Hi' to pet the dog and then strike up a conversation. | 116 |
| Vivien Leigh | I've always been mad about cats. | 116 |
| Eva Longoria | When you're fighting for social justice, one of my biggest pet peeves is speaking out of ignorance. | 116 |
| Rashida Jones | My pet peeve and my goal in life is to somehow get an adjective for 'integrity' in the dictionary. 'Truthful' doesn't really cover it, or 'genuine.' It should be like 'integritus.' | 116 |
| Bud Grant | Legislators are interested in their pet projects, getting re-elected, and popularity contests. | 117 |
| Robert Benchley | Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other. | 117 |
| Gary Neville | It is one of my pet hates when I see players who have agents who do everything for them. They don't know how to set up their own bank accounts, they don't know what they are spending their money on and they can't make their own decisions. | 117 |
| Patrick Stump | I think you can totally be a totally normal kid from the suburbs of Chicago and go off and play shows. It's one of those things that when you go home, you're still the nerd you were when you left, and your parents still get to yell at you about cleaning up your room, and your girlfriend still drags you to the pet store. | 117 |
| George Eads | I have a Lab, it's fun to hang out and hike with the dog, people come up to him, and pet him, it's fun. | 117 |
| Chris Lowe | You can get too bogged down in technology and you can sort of forget what it is you were trying to do. And with the Pet Shop Boys it's primarily about the songs, it's about song writing. | 118 |
| Emily VanCamp | My idea of a perfect pet is a really, really big dog! Huge! | 118 |
| Dwight D. Eisenhower | What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. | 119 |
| Terry Pratchett | In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this. | 119 |
| Cam Newton | What happens when you take a lion out of the safari and try to take him to your place of residence and make him a house pet? It ain't going to happen. That's the type of person that I am. I'm that lion. | 119 |
| Sam Taylor-Wood | I hate rats. I had a pet rat to try and overcome it. I even gave him mouth-to mouth resuscitation when he had a heart attack. But I couldn't conquer it. | 119 |
| Cher | I'm scared to death of being poor. It's like a fat girl who loses 500 pounds but is always fat inside. I grew up poor and will always feel poor inside. It's my pet paranoia. | 120 |
| Genesis Rodriguez | I could never date a guy with a pet snake. | 120 |
| Tom Felton | I really liked the snake that breaks out of the cage in the beginning of the movie. I saw it in real life, and it was really cool. Really big and fat. The owls are cool as well, but you can't really pet them. | 121 |
| Alison Sweeney | Our pets rely on us entirely for their nutrition. So if you're making your own judgments, that could lead to a mistake. At the same time, we have more control over our pet's diet than we do with our children or with ourselves, so your vet can tell you what is appropriate for your dog and you can assign them that. | 121 |
| Misty May-Treanor | My campaign is about getting pets to be more active, and exercise with your animal is a great way for people to exercise. When you're out with your pet, it becomes fun. You don't think of it as a chore. For me, taking my dog out for a walk is very relaxing. | 121 |
| Fran Lebowitz | If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail. | 122 |
| Alison Sweeney | Humans should always exercise and watch what they eat. So with your pet, make sure they get enough exercise, make sure they're getting fed at the same time every day and getting the nutrition they need. And make sure they get a lot of love and attention you both need. That's why you have them! | 122 |
| Joanne Froggatt | Ill-fitted T-shirts stretched over a gut are my pet hate. And if the colour's faded - ugh. | 122 |
| Karl Pilkington | I'd say the best is when I was in Africa, I saw a hippo in a house. Someone had a pet hippo. And they're meant to be one of the most dangerous animals on the planet, and they had one that was sort of just wandering in and out of their house, just sort of roaming about. | 123 |
| Bob Hope | The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast. | 123 |
| Dick Dale | There's a saying. If you want someone to love you forever, buy a dog, feed it and keep it around. | 123 |
| Whoopi Goldberg | I don't have pet peeves; I have whole kennels of irritation. | 123 |
| Michael Bay | There are things that I invented - the creaky geriatric robot that is always grumpy, for example, or the little wheelie guy, he's not in the Hasbro lore. But kids love that stuff - this little guy as a pet on a chain. They gravitate towards it. | 123 |
| Al Yankovic | One of my pet peeves is that sometimes the talents of my band get overlooked because, and it was the same problem that Frank Zappa had, with a lot of groups that use humor, people don't realize there's a lot of craft behind the comedy. | 124 |
| Philippe Cousteau, Jr. | One of my big pet peeves is single-use plastic bags. I think it's one of the stupidest ideas in the world. | 124 |
| Norman Ralph Augustine | A hungry dog hunts best. A hungrier dog hunts even better. | 125 |
| Scott Adams | There's kind of a toll you have to pay with a cat; if you don't pet her for 10 minutes she'll bother you for six hours. | 125 |
| Steven Seagal | It doesn't work if the bad guys kill his mother's uncle's friend's neighbor's pet dog. You've got to make the stakes high. | 125 |
| Hal Sparks | Truth be told, ginormous portions have become a pet peeve of mine. | 125 |
| Max Cannon | We all have our pet things that we like to get religious about. | 125 |
| Anna Held | My little dog, he did not get ill. It is so funny that people get ill on a boat and dogs do not. | 126 |
| Leonardo da Vinci | The smallest feline is a masterpiece. | 201 |
| Donald McCaig | Though each trainer believes his or her method is best, I don't think it matters which method the pet owner adopts so long as that owner finds a capable mentor and sticks with the training. Eventually you will learn to see your dog, and when that happens, the richness of your and your dog's lives will tell you what to do next. | 201 |
| Emily Dickinson | Dogs are better than human beings because they know but do not tell. | 202 |
| Caroline Knapp | The kinds of roles dogs fill can be hard to come by in human relationships. We touch the dog or the pet at whim. There is a lack of self-consciousness and a fluidity to it that is absent from most human relationships. If someone acted that way to you, you'd feel claustrophobic pretty quickly. It's a boundary violation. | 202 |
| Chris Pratt | I have a pet lizard named Puff, five goldfish - named Pinky, Brain, Jowels, Pearl and Sandy, an oscar fish named Chef, two pacus, an albino African frog named Whitey, a bonsai tree, four Venus flytraps, a fruit fly farm and sea monkeys. | 202 |
| Mason Cooley | A happy arrangement: many people prefer cats to other people, and many cats prefer people to other cats. | 202 |
| Nicholas Kristof | The world spends $40 billion a year on pet food. | 202 |
| Christopher Morley | No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does. | 203 |
| Moliere | A lover tries to stand in well with the pet dog of the house. | 203 |
| Rob Gronkowski | My pet peeves are people touching me a lot. Random dudes grabbing me and slapping me across the back. They're not doing it on purpose, but it's like they forget I'm a person. But you can't do anything about it. What are you going to do? | 203 |
| Rodney Dangerfield | Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid. | 205 |
| Elizabeth Marshall Thomas | People didn't think animals thought or remembered or had minds! They most certainly do: any pet owner knows more than a lot of scientists about animals. | 205 |
| Jean Cocteau | I love cats because I enjoy my home; and little by little, they become its visible soul. | 206 |
| Theresa May | We all know the stories about the Human Rights Act... about the illegal immigrant who cannot be deported because, and I am not making this up, he had a pet cat. | 206 |
| Paul Watson | Whales are killed today to supply the limited demand for whale meat or to be used in pet foods or as fodder for fur-bearing animals used in the fur trade. | 207 |
| Julia Glass | I was ridiculed in public school for being smart. A teacher's pet. | 207 |
| Jojo Moyes | For every book that I write... I develop a history for each person and make sure they are well rounded and flawed. You have to know everything about them from their shoe size, to where they went to school, to what their first pet was, to what they like to eat, to what they want out of life. | 207 |
| Winston Churchill | I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. | 208 |
| Rick Warren | I can't imagine God not allowing my dog into heaven. | 208 |
| Roma Downey | One of my pet peeves about biblical epics was that the characters' costumes always looked like they're just out of the dry cleaners. | 208 |
| Marcel Duchamp | Humor and laughter - not necessarily derogatory derision - are my pet tools. This may come from my general philosophy of never taking the world too seriously - for fear of dying of boredom. | 209 |
| Aurora | I really want a pet, and I really love animals. | 209 |
| Abraham Lincoln | No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens. | 210 |
| Betty White | It's a little known fact that one in three family pets gets lost during its lifetime, and approximately 9 million pets enter shelters each year. That's why it's a wonderful thing to get your pet microchipped and registered with your contact information because then they can be located and the owners can track where their pets are. | 210 |
| Blake Shelton | One of my pet peeves about Nashville is that it tends to be copycatted. I don't want to do that. I've got to be different. | 210 |
| Mike Ditka | There's just me and my wife and a dog and we feed him Healthy Choice also. | 210 |
| Loretta Swit | Don't buy furs: that's No. 1. You can start with that. Then spay and neuter your pets. We destroy millions of them a year. Go to an animal shelter for a cat or dog. And read a book about how to care properly for your particular pet. | 210 |
| Rob Sheffield | In their heyday, the Pet Shop Boys were the Interpol of the Eighties, dressing up to sing really weird pop songs about lust and loneliness in the big city. They're low-pro now, not retro-worshipped in the manner of Depeche Mode, New Order, or The Cure, but you can hear the reason why - these guys are too sad. | 210 |
| Timothy Simons | I'm a dog person, but I don't have a pet. | 210 |
| Billy Graham | A real Christian is a person who can give his pet parrot to the town gossip. | 211 |
| Rodney Dangerfield | I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get. | 211 |
| America Ferrera | I have a lot of trouble understanding how people see me as a celebrity. I work 14 hours a day, and then I just want to talk to my family, see the people I love, pet my dog, and go to bed. I'm not looking to be best friends with or emulate a celebrity. | 211 |
| Brendon Urie | My favorite type of pet has always been a dog. They're loyal, kind, and offer endless affection. My friend Eric says, 'The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.' Funny thought. | 213 |
| Andrew Weil | One of the most obvious ways dogs can improve our physical and mental health is via daily walks. | 213 |
| Sloane Crosley | A pet store is a celebration of dogs' existence and an explosion of options. About cats, a pet store seems to say, 'Here, we couldn't think of anything else.' Cats are the Hanukkah of the animal world in this way. They are feted quietly and happily by a minority, but there's only so much hoopla applicable to them. | 213 |
| Michelle Malkin | Environmentalists hate sprawl - except when it comes to the size of their expansive pet legislation on Capitol Hill. | 213 |
| Rodney Dangerfield | I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it. | 214 |
| Jim Harrison | My biggest pet peeve is when you go to a fine restaurant, and it's like a mausoleum inside. Good food should be joyful. There should be laughter and chatter, not people sitting there like they're in a funeral-parlor waiting room. | 214 |
| Ashton Eaton | The first pet I remember was a cat called Baby. She would sleep with me, and I could call her from anywhere, and she would come running. | 214 |
| Chrissy Teigen | My big pet peeve with people posting food - and I love it when people post food - but my number one thing is when you're posting at a restaurant, and it's dark, like a date night, food never looks good. Flash looks horrible, no flash looks horrible. It's important to only do food photos during daylight - and it's all about color with Instagram. | 216 |
| Rita Rudner | We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet. | 216 |
| Darin Strauss | All writers have their own pet commandments. | 216 |
| Susan Orlean | Dogs really are perfect soldiers. They are brave and smart; they can smell through walls, see in the dark, and eat Army rations without complaint. | 216 |
| Woodrow Wilson | If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience. | 217 |
| Mary Roach | Pet foods come in a variety of flavors because that's what humans like, and we assume our pets like what we like. We're wrong. | 218 |
| W. C. Fields | The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath. | 220 |
| William S. Burroughs | Like all pure creatures, cats are practical. | 220 |
| Karl Pilkington | To me, a cat is an easy pet, they don't need any spoiling or looking after. | 221 |
| James Thurber | The dog has got more fun out of Man than Man has got out of the dog, for the clearly demonstrable reason that Man is the more laughable of the two animals. | 221 |
| James Gleick | We have a habit of turning to scientists when we want factual answers and artists when we want entertainment, but where are the facts about the nature of the self? Neurologists peering at PET scans and fMRIs know they aren't seeing the soul in there. | 221 |
| Erin O'Connor | Growing up, I had an insane crush on Neil Tennant of the Pet Shop Boys. | 222 |
| Jimi Hendrix | I got a pet monkey called Charlie Chan. | 223 |
| William S. Burroughs | The cat does not offer services. The cat offers itself. Of course he wants care and shelter. You don't buy love for nothing. | 223 |
| Gabrielle Union | When you want a break from dogs, and you take them to the kennel to the stars, no one thinks you're a bad pet owner. But when you have kids, you can't drop them off for three weeks without someone calling Child Protective Services! | 225 |
| Rodney Dangerfield | What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm. | 226 |
| David Harsanyi | In summation, like your beloved pet rock, Twitter is useful only in your imagination. | 301 |
| Betty White | My mother and dad were big animal lovers, too. I just don't know how I would have lived without animals around me. I'm fascinated by them - both domestic pets and the wild community. They just are the most interesting things in the world to me, and it's made such a difference in my lifetime. | 303 |
| Jeffrey Kluger | No one ever pretended that shopping for anything is a rational experience. If it were, would there be Fluffernutter? Laceless sneakers? Porkpie hats? Would the Chia Pet even exist? | 306 |
| P. J. O'Rourke | Never wear anything that panics the cat. | 314 |
| Aldous Huxley | To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. | 316 |
| Gretchen Rubin | Like most people, I have several pet subjects - that may or may not be interesting to other people. Don't get me started on happiness, or habits, or children's literature, or Winston Churchill, unless you really want to talk about it. | 318 |
| Ron White | My biggest pet peeve, I guess, is other comedians criticizing Larry the Cable Guy. | 404 |
| Michelle Phan | Just like hair frames our face, brows frame our eyes. I see so much potential in harmonized beauty whenever I see a woman who's not filling in her brows, and I just want to go in with my brow pencil and just be like, 'Filling in eyebrows, OK, done - look in the mirror and be inspired.' That's one of my pet peeves, but beauty is subjective. | 404 |
| Mary Roach | I don't read good books anymore, it seems; I just buy them and put them on the shelf and every now and then walk over and pet them. I'm like the optimistic dieter who fills her closet with clothes two sizes too small and dreams of the day she can wear them. I know just what I want to do when I retire. | 405 |
| Henry Ward Beecher | The dog is the god of frolic. | 406 |
| Cara Delevingne | I need to be able to be at a gig and just put my bag on the floor and not worry about it being stood on or getting ruined. You want a bag that can go through anything. And a little bit of softness is always lovely. If I don't have a dog, I can just pet my bag! | 406 |
| Ziggy Marley | I used to have this little mouse. I buy birds from the pet store and I let them go. | 411 |
| Michael Dirda | In truth, I'm not really a cat person. Seamus, the wonder dog, still deeply mourned by all who knew him, was just about the only pet I've ever really loved. | 415 |
| Steven Wright | When I was 16... I worked in a pet store. And they fired me because... they had three snakes in there, and one day I braided them. | 426 |
| Gretchen Rubin | Growing up in Kansas City, I was always neat, the teacher's pet, know-it-all type. | 501 |
| Chuck Palahniuk | Maybe humans are just the pet alligators that God flushed down the toilet. | 517 |
| Steven Wright | I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. | 622 |
| Steven Wright | My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. | 714 |
| Mason Cooley | Even cats grow lonely and anxious. | 903 |
| Douglas Coupland | If cats were double the size they are now, they'd probably be illegal. | 904 |
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