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Carol Burnett [1933-0] American

Rank: 101
Actress

Carol Creighton Burnett is an American actress, comedian, singer, and writer, whose career spans six decades of television. She is best known for her long-running TV variety show, The Carol Burnett Show, originally aired on CBS.

Famous, Change, Communication, Diet, Food, Funny, Graduation, Humor, Inspirational, Legal, Life, Mom, Morning, Motivational, Movies, Teen

Quote	Tags	Rank
Because nobody goes through life without a scar.	Life	101
Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.	Change, Motivational	102
I wish my mother had left me something about how she felt growing up. I wish my grandmother had done the same. I wanted my girls to know me.	Mom	103
When you have a dream, you've got to grab it and never let go.	Inspirational	104
Words, once they are printed, have a life of their own.	Communication	105
Adolescence is just one big walking pimple.	Teen	106
It's also selfish because it makes you feel good when you help others. I've been helped by acts of kindness from strangers. That's why we're here, after all, to help others.		107
I was once asked to do my Tarzan yell at Bergdorf Goodman, and a guard burst in with a gun! Now I only do it under controlled circumstances.		108
Everybody I know who is funny, it's in them. You can teach timing, or some people are able to tell a joke, though I don't like to tell jokes. But I think you have to be born with a sense of humor and a sense of timing.	Funny, Humor	109
We don't stop going to school when we graduate.	Graduation	110
My grandmother and I followed my mother here, to a house a block north of Hollywood Boulevard but a million miles away from Hollywood, if you know what I mean. We would hang out behind the ropes and look at the movie stars arriving at the premieres.		111
I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?		112
My grandmother and I would go see movies, and we'd come back to the apartment - we had a one-room apartment in Hollywood - and I would kind of lock myself in this little dressing room area with a cracked mirror on the door and act out what I had just seen.	Movies	113
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.		114
But I don't begrudge anybody, because I know how hard it is to have that dream and to make it happen, whether or not it's just to put a roof over your head and food on the table.	Food	115
I'm glad I was born when I was. My time was the golden age of variety. If I were starting out again now, maybe things would happen for me, but it certainly would not be on a variety show with 28 musicians, 12 dancers, two major guest stars, 50 costumes a week by Bob Mackie. The networks just wouldn't spend the money today.		116
I'm not always optimistic. You wouldn't have all cylinders cooking if you were always like Mary Poppins.		117
Comedy is tragedy - plus time.		118
You have to go through the falling down in order to learn to walk. It helps to know that you can survive it. That's an education in itself.		119
It's almost impossible to be funnier than the people in Washington.		120
On the good days, my mother would haul out the ukulele and we'd sit around the kitchen table - it was a cardboard table with a linoleum top - and sing.		121
Celebrity was a long time in coming; it will go away. Everything goes away.	Famous	122
My grandmother and I saw an average of eight movies a week, double features, second run.		123
It costs a lot to sue a magazine, and it's too bad that we don't have a system where the losing team has to pay the winning team's lawyers.	Legal	124
You know, one wonderful thing that came out of my Enquirer experience is that, in my case, it was ruled tabloids are magazines. Which means they didn't have the protection that a newspaper has.		125
I think the hardest thing to do in the world, show-business-wise, is write comedy.		126
In '57, I got a job at the Blue Angel nightclub, and a gentleman named Ken Welch wrote all my material for me. I lived at a place called the Rehearsal Club that was actually the basis for a play called Stage Door.		201
As far as sitcoms go, I thought Jenna Elfman in 'Dharma and Greg' was a wonderful physical comedienne who had great timing.		202
I love the writing. I love the idea of typing and seeing it on the computer and printing it out myself and, you know, moving sentences around. I like that.		203
I do the 'New York Times' crossword puzzle every morning to keep the old grey matter ticking.	Morning	204
I'm really not that funny in real life! But I am the best audience one could find. I love to laugh.		205
I very much enjoyed doing 'Law & Order,' playing a killer - that was fun, and they had a family feel around the set, so it was a happy show to do even though the subject matter was quite the opposite.		206
My childhood was rough, we were poor and my parents were alcoholics, but nobody was mean. I knew I was loved. We were on welfare, but I never felt abandoned or unloved.		207
I was kind of shy as a kid. I was a pretty good student. I was a wallflower, or nerd, if you will.		208
I liked myself better when I wasn't me.		209
Well, I don't know how astute I am, but I did want to be a journalist when I was growing up.		210
But I didn't ask to have somebody nose around in my private life. I didn't even ask to be famous. All I asked was to be able to earn a living making people laugh.	Famous	211
My interesting diet tips are eat early and don't nosh between meals. I mean, I can pack it away.	Diet	212
I had a good loud voice and I wasn't afraid to be goofy or zany.		213
I never regretted turning down anything, I never regretted losing a job because I always felt something else was out there.		214
My favorite is doing the television show, as a variety show, every week. If the show wasn't that great one week, we could always come back and apologize, you know?		215
I had it in my contract with CBS, a very weird clause that was never written before and certainly not since, that if I wanted to do a variety show within the first five years of the contract, CBS would have to put it on for 30 shows.		216
Originally, I came from Texas, and we lived on - I guess you'd call it welfare, what we called relief.		217
I don't eat much meat, fish, or poultry.		218
I can't tell a joke to save my soul. It's just not my thing, though I love to listen to jokes.		219
I have a great memory.		220
I wanted to be on Broadway, but in musical comedy.		221

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