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Jasper Carrott [1945-0] English

Rank: 109
Comedian

Jasper Carrott, OBE is an English comedian, actor, television presenter, and personality.

Best, Failure, Famous, Food, Happiness, Marriage

Quote	Tags	Rank
Laughter is the best medicine - unless you're diabetic, then insulin comes pretty high on the list.	Best	101
I have a very happy marriage and friends who keep my feet on the ground. But looking for satisfaction in life is difficult. Maybe being happy is as simple as not being unhappy.	Marriage	102
I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands for.		103
Happiness to me is simply not being unhappy.	Happiness	104
When I hit the scene, there was Billy Connolly and Max Boyce. It was all mother-in-law and Irish jokes, and we broke the mould. Now there are thousands of comedians out there, and I don't think I can be above it all.		105
I just felt that 'Golden Balls' was the right thing to do. I didn't care if people thought I was a failure.	Failure	106
I should be more vocal about the things I believe are doing us harm, but many years ago in my early twenties, I learned a bit of a lesson. I started to realise at that time the benefits of eating healthy food and drink.	Food	107
I have that working class fear of having nothing. I've always got one eye on what's in the bank.		108
There is no way in my right mind I would contemplate running 26 miles-plus unless it involved a chase with Pamela Anderson.		109
There's a rumour going 'round that if you amass a certain number of penalty points on your driving licence, the authorities will make you take your test again! Now, if ever there was an incentive to drive carefully, they could not have threatened a more terrifying ordeal.		110
I was never the class clown, and I've no idea where the comedy came from.		111
I have to confess here that I am a useless cook.		112
Having signed a few autographs in my time, I always wonder what the heck people do with them.		113
My driving habits are so ingrained that the driving examiner would fail me in the first mile. That's provided he hadn't died of a heart attack by then.		114
I've always been sensible with my money. I can't say I'm a business genius.		115
I want to do things I enjoy, and show business comes fifth or sixth down the line.		116
The impact of T.V. on our lives in general gets most things out of proportion.		117
The whole debate on what food is best for us is complex, ongoing and often controlled by vested interests.		118
I have been known to play a few rounds in my time. I'm not obsessive; I don't play in the dark, but even that's not out of the question because Stevie Wonder is also a golfer.		119
I used to be a columnist for 'Golf Monthly' and have contributed articles for national newspapers based on the humour that is in abundance in the game, which is more than can be said of tennis.		120
I've played with some very famous bandits in my time on the celebrity golf circuit.	Famous	121

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