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Jeff Ross [1965-0] American

Rank: 107
Comedian, Stand-up comedian

Jeffrey Ross Lifschultz, known professionally as Jeff Ross, is an American stand-up comedian, actor and author. His skill in doing high-profile celebrity roasts and his appearances in Comedy Central's Roasts, have led him to be dubbed "The Roastmaster General."

Funny, Humor, Art, Attitude, Friendship, Jealousy, Life, Respect, Sports, War

Quote	Tags	Rank
Life is short. You have to be able to laugh at our pain or we never move on.	Life	101
I've actually tried to roast somebody that I don't like, and it doesn't go well. Either they're a bad sport or I'm not as funny as I could be.	Funny, Sports	102
When I first started doing these roasts in the mid '90s, they were a lost art, like jousting or calligraphy. But I feel like roasts help tame the room and let off steam... It's like it's all being handled by professionals.	Art	103
Do you want me to apologize after every joke? If it doesn't offend somebody it's probably not a joke. It's probably an observation that's not funny. It's gotta offend somebody somewhere.	Funny	104
People are roasting each other at parties, at work events, around the fire. It's so fun. People are busting each other's chops, and it's a sign of affection, truly. It's a true test of love and friendship: can you make a man laugh at himself? So what makes a good burn? Go after targets you love and respect. And hit 'em hard.	Friendship, Respect	105
Most people, when they think of an insult, they keep it to themselves. But you wouldn't believe the things people say on my Twitter feed, and I'm a nice guy. Imagine if I was a jerk.		106
There are no subtleties in a war zone. I think that's why comedy does so well there. It goes right for the gut. So those punch lines start penetrating the bullet-proof vests.	War	107
When I see something that's sensitive, I go, 'You've got to put that out there.' You need to keep the dialogue going and shine a light on the bad guys. If you sweep it under the carpet, people forget about it. People stop talking about it.		108
I'm not hurting anybody. Comedy's all about innuendo. I'm putting it out there just like anybody else.		109
Bad taste is not illegal. I always got my first laughs as a kid by saying inappropriate things. That's always how we're going to get our laughs as comics.		110
My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles were all funny, and I felt that energy, that delivery, that timing, that sarcasm. All that stuff seeped into my brain.		111
I'm a big fan of Courtney Love. I love Hole and I love her acting and I love her attitude. I just hope I never meet her in a dark alley.	Attitude	112
If you keep looking backwards, you don't go anywhere.		113
When I see a good singer, I get teary-eyed. Part of it is jealousy because all comedians are frustrated rock stars. That's a fact.	Jealousy	114
With everybody having a Facebook and a Twitter, I feel like regular people consider themselves stars. It's a live, real-time upload of every time we buy a pair of socks, the most telling sign that we're losing our politeness. When you know everything about somebody, you can talk to them any way you please.		115
Could you imagine me and the roasters taking on the GOP field? It would be the greatest show ever. Prove that you can take a joke. Prove that you're a man or woman of the people. Prove that you're not above criticism even in the form of a backhanded compliment.		116
With roasting, you've really got to bring your A-game. I hate to admit it, but I probably think and obsess more about the roasts than my own series. Because there's so much attention focused on the roasts. It's like the 'Super Bowl' of comedy. Everybody is going to talk about it. Forever.		117
Comedians second-guessing themselves is scary. Poor taste is not a crime and we can't forget that.		118
As soon as a roast is announced, I get everybody - family, friends, waitresses, cab drivers - giving me jokes about the person getting roasted. I'm the mouthpiece for the masses.		119
Athletes tend to have less of a sense of humor than most people. They are heroes to so many. That might be part of it.	Humor	120
Occasionally a roast master needs to get out of Dodge.		121
I think Jersey stands alone, and because I'm from Jersey, I never make fun of where people are from. I'll make fun of what they look like, but I'll never make fun of where they are from. Jersey is special.		122
You don't mess with Oprah. She has enough money in her left pocket to have me killed.		123
I think comics should test people, I think it's our job to go too far. That way we know as a society what too far is. Where else are you going to hear it?		124
Nobody likes a bad sport, no matter what the circumstances are.		125
I think it's important for comedians to do our little part. I don't do it carelessly. I do it thoughtfully. I don't try to just shock. I try to make a statement.		126
I was the kid who always hung back and then dropped the jokes when you least expected it. Timing was everything. My mouth sort of developed over time.		201
I don't think you cross the line - I think you move the line.		202
Humor that is edgy is never squeaky clean.	Humor	203
It's up to comedians to shine the light on what's wrong in the world, and we don't want things swept under the rug.		204
People love to see public figures get taken down a notch, and by the same token, everyone loves to be the center of attention, even when there's a target on their forehead.		205

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