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Jackie Mason [1931-0] American

Rank: 104
Comedian

Jackie Mason is an American stand-up comedian and film and television actor. He is ranked #63 on Comedy Central's 100 greatest stand-up comedians of all-time.

Future, Funny, Health, Politics

Quote	Tags	Rank
I don't believe that anybody has come to a conclusion on why something is funny. It's funny because it's ridiculous and it's ridiculous for different reasons at different times.	Funny	101
I've been watching politics for 35 or 40 years and you just never know. You can have one person win the Iowa caucus and then the whole picture changes ten minutes later. The same thing can happen again after New Hampshire. I have no idea what's going to happen with our country in the future.	Future, Politics	102
Did you ever hear of a kid playing accountant - even if they wanted to be one?		103
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.		104
I have nothing but love in my heart and everything I say is just an instrument for laughs.		105
It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like.	Health	106
I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something.		107
My material is as new as anything on the dinner table. What difference does it make if I'm 70 or if I'm 20? The audience knows they aren't getting any old stories from me.		108
It is more profitable for your congressman to support the tobacco industry than your life.		109
Predictions are preposterous.	Future	110
If an Englishman gets run down by a truck he apologizes to the truck.		111
I can't predict the future and I don't have respect for people who try to.		112
I can't pretend that I'm a great student of the art of comedy because anybody that becomes philosophical about humour doesn't know what he's talking about.		113
My comedy doesn't come from any calculations and studies.		114

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