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Frank Carson [1926-2012] Irish

Rank: 101
Comedian

Hugh Francis "Frank" Carson KSG was an Irish comedian and actor, best known on television in series such as The Comedians and Tiswas. He was a member of the entertainment charity the Grand Order of Water Rats.

Car, Marriage

Quote	Tags	Rank
My wife said to me: 'If you won the lottery, would you still love me?' I said: 'Of course I would. I'd miss you, but I'd still love you.'		101
What's the difference between my wife and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist.		102
I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.	Marriage	103
So I rang up British Telecom, I said 'I want to report a nuisance caller', he said 'Not you again'.		104
Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?	Car	105
The thirties were troublesome in Belfast, and then of course there was no work for people, and it was terribly religiously divided.		106
My idea for peace in the Middle East is to go back to the 1966 line, but to build even more houses for the Palestinians, who are a poor people.		107
I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.		108
It's never occurred to me to worry about my health, or that I'll get old, or that people will stop laughing at me.		109
People in Northern Ireland vote for their church, they don't vote with their heads; it is ridiculous.		110
America has only 100 Senators for 309 million people, but Stormont has 108 members for 1.7 million.		111
Most of my jokes are racist - usually about the Irish.		112

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