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Dave Attell [1965-0] American

Rank: 101
Comedian

David Attell is an American stand-up comedian, writer and actor, best known as the host of Comedy Central's Insomniac with Dave Attell and The Gong Show with Dave Attell.

Cool, Famous, Diet, Imagination, Women

Quote	Tags	Rank
When I was a kid, I really loved Indians. Native Americans. Pardon. Me.		101
Doesn't matter what you say or do; people can always find a way to call you a dick.		102
You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike.	Women	103
What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin.	Diet	104
A lot of these kids I think are more content just to be on Facebook and the computer than they are to actually go out. They just really want to get a picture to post to their buddies, and that's about it.		105
Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people 'the cops.' But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school!		106
My day jobs... I knew I was bad at those, so I didn't really have the confidence to think that I could do comedy. But I knew I hated the day jobs.		107
I have an imagination because my life is so boring that my imagination lets me get off the reality of what's going on.	Imagination	108
I don't mind a crowd's not laughing; it's the groans that slow down the show.		109
I'm not a movie guy, I'm not a TV sitcom guy, but whatever seems to fit and is funny is good for me.		110
I don't think I'm a star or a celebrity or any thing like that.		111
I'm a stand-up comic. Anything else I do besides that is a plus, but stand-up comedy is what I do, it's what I've been doing and it's what I'm going to keep doing.		112
I never wanted to be famous.	Famous	113
I keep getting these people at my shows who only know me from television. I can always tell when they're, like, emotionally flinching when I start doing my jokes.		114
For a long time the people at my shows were sort of the Pantera-tattoo trucker guys, really cool dudes, but I don't know what happened to them. That's the crowd that I like, the ones that don't get so offended just to be offended.	Cool	115
I don't watch reality TV. I'm cool.	Cool	116
I like writing a joke, and I like when a joke works, and I like other comics who tell jokes.		117
Sometimes it's hard to tell if a joke is working or not for the first couple of minutes.		118
I don't watch reality TV.		119
I feel like soundtrack music is almost like seeing the movie again, but with my ears.		120
I'm not like a performer type.		121
I'm a joke comic. I tell jokes. I like writing a joke, and I like when a joke works, and I like other comics who tell jokes.		122
I have no grand scheme.		123
Once you get offstage you're just like everyone else, and everyone else can get into a fight.		124
I have soundtracks for a lot of stuff.		125
I'm not really a music guy.		126
Being on the road is kind of lonely.		201
I get recognized, but I'm not really a famous famous.	Famous	202
I like doing stand-up and I love putting out TV specials.		203

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