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Jenna McCarthy [0-0]
Rank: 110
Author


Jenna McCarthy is an American author who has written the books Pretty Much Screwed; I've Still Got It... I Just Can't Remember Where I Put It: Awkwardly True Tales from the Far Side of Forty; If It Was Easy They'd Call the Whole Damn Thing a Honeymoon: Living With and Loving the TV-Addicted, Sex-Obsessed, Not-So-Handy Man You Married; The Parent Trip: From High Heels and Parties to Highchairs and Potties; Cheers to the New Mom; Cheers to the New Dad; Big Rigs for Moms; and Tea Parties for Dads. 

Death, Diet, Funny, Marriage, Men, Smile, Wedding

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If you had asked me when I was 28 and in my wedding dress if I ever thought I would end up in my forties flipping my husband the bird over potato chips, I'd say you were crazy. Wedding
101
Now, as husbands go, I have to admit I did all right. Joe is unquestionably handsome, doesn't leave ragged toenail clippings scattered about the house, and has never once, in nearly five thousand days of togetherness, left the toilet seat up.
102
What do women do when they get together? We sit around and talk! Men, not so much. My theory is that this difference is genetic and dates back to the hunter-gatherer societies, when the men had to be quiet as they hunted, lest they scare away the bison and then everyone starved to death and it was all their fault. Death, Men
103
I don't care how handsome or fabulous or funny the groom is, or how sweet and accommodating the bride, or vice versa. Marriage is hard. Funny, Marriage
104
As relationships progress, the time you spend smooching diminishes. Where kissing was once an enjoyable entree unto itself, it becomes a mere appetizer couples hasten through on the way to the main course.
105
The man you married is yours to have and to hold for the rest of ever, even if he starts chewing tobacco or decides to pierce his hairy nipple and buy a Corvette, because you very plainly said - or at least implied - you were in it for better or for worse.
106
One study found that people who smile in childhood photographs are less likely to get a divorce. Smile
107
Subsisting on a diet drawn from one food group isn't healthy or gratifying. Even eating cupcakes 24/7 eventually would get old! Diet
108
When you're pregnant, you go out and buy every single book; you have this stack of books on your nightstand, but there was nothing that was preparing me for anything even remotely resembling what my life was going to look like.
109
Women tell stories; men want answers. Guys get impatient when we drone on forever; we get frustrated when they tune out.
110
Scientific studies about relationships fascinate me, and I devour them hungrily, especially when they give big, fancy-sounding names to everyday experiences.
111
Divorce is contagious. That's right - when you have a close couple friend split up, it increases your chances of getting a divorce by 75 percent.
112
The bottom line is, whether you're in it or you're searching for it, I believe marriage is an institution worth pursuing and protecting.
113

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