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Dorothy Parker - Song Of Perfect Propriety
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Oh, I should like to ride the seas,
  A roaring buccaneer;
A cutlass banging at my knees,
  A dirk behind my ear.
And when my captives` chains would clank
  I`d howl with glee and drink,
And then fling out the quivering plank
  And watch the beggars sink.

I`d like to straddle gory decks,
  And dig in laden sands,
And know the feel of throbbing necks
  Between my knotted hands.
Oh, I should like to strut and curse
  Among my blackguard crew….
But I am writing little verse,
  As little ladies do.

Oh, I should like to dance and laugh
  And pose and preen and sway,
And rip the hearts of men in half,
  And toss the bits away.
I`d like to view the reeling years
  Through unastonished eyes,
And dip my finger-tips in tears,
  And give my smiles for sighs.

I`d stroll beyond the ancient bounds,
  And tap at fastened gates,
And hear the prettiest of sound-
  The clink of shattered fates.
My slaves I`d like to bind with thongs
  That cut and burn and chill….
But I am writing little songs,
  As little ladies will.
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