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Ogden Nash - Possessions Are Nine Points Of Conversation
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Some people, and it doesn`t matter whether they are paupers or millionaires, 
Think that anything they have is the best in the world just because it is theirs. 
If they happen to own a 1921 jalopy, 
They look at their neighbor`s new de luxe convertible like the wearer of a 57th Street
  gown at a 14th Street copy. 
If their seventeen-year-old child is still in the third grade they sneer at the
  graduation of the seventeen-year-old children of their friends, 
Claiming that prodigies always come to bad ends, 
And if their roof leaks, 
It`s because the shingles are antiques. 
Other people, and if doesn`t matter if they are Scandinavians or Celts, 
Think that anything is better than theirs just because it belongs to somebody else. 
If you congratulate them when their blue-blooded Doberman pinscher wins the obedience
  championship, they look at you like a martyr, 
And say that the garbage man`s little Rover is really infinitely smarter; 
And if they smoke fifteen-cent cigars they are sure somebody else gets better cigars for
  a dime. 
And if they take a trip to Paris they are sure their friends who went to Old Orchard had
  a better time. 
Yes, they look on their neighbor`s ox and ass with covetousness and their own ox and ass
  with abhorrence, 
And if they are wives they want their husband to be like Florence`s Freddie, and if they
  are husbands they want their wives to be like Freddie`s Florence. 
I think that comparisons are truly odious, I do not approve of this constant proud or
  envious to-do; 
And furthermore, dear friends, I think that you and yours are delightful and I also
  think that me and mine are delightful too.
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