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Robert W Service - Spats
Work rating: Low

When young I was a Socialist
          Despite my tender years;
No blessed chance I ever missed
          To slam the profiteers.
Yet though a fanatic I was,
          And cursed aristocrats,
The Party chucked me out because
          I sported Spats.

Aye, though on soap boxes I stood,
          And spouted in the parks,
They grizzled that my foot-wear would
          Be disavowed my Marx.
It`s buttons of a pearly sheen
          Bourgois they deemed and thus
They told me; `You must choose between
          Your spats and us.`

Alas! I loved my gaitered feet
          Of smoothly fitting fawn;
They were so snappy and so neat,
          A gift from Uncle John
Who had a fortune in the Bank
          That one day might be mine:
`Give up my spats!` said I, `I thank
          You—but resign.`

Today when red or pink I see
          In stripy pants of state,
I think of how they lost in me
          A demon of debate.
I muse as leaders strut about
          In frock-coats and high hats . . .
The bloody party chucked me out
          Because of Spats.
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