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Robert W Service - My Consolation
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`Nay; I don`t need a hearing aid`
          I told Mama-in-law;
`For if I had I`d be afraid
          Of your eternal jaw;
Although at me you often shout,
          I`m undisturbed;
To tell the truth I can`t make out
                    A single word.`

And it`s the same with others who
          Attempt to gab at me;
I listen to their point of view
          And solemnly agree.
To story stale and silly joke
          Stone deaf`s my ear;
Each day a dozen stupid folk
                    I fail to hear.

So silence that should be my grief
          Is my escape and shield;
From spiteful speech and base relief
          My aural sense is sealed.
And in my cosy cot of peace
          I close the door.
Praising the gods for rich relief
                    From fool and bore.
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