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Robert W Service - Violet De Vere
Work rating: Low

You`ve heard of Violet de Vere, strip-teaser of renown,
Whose sitting-base out-faired the face of any girl in town;
Well, she was haled before the Bench for breachin` of the Peace,
Which signifies araisin` Cain, an` beatin` up the police.
So there she stood before the Court of ruddy Judge McGraw
Whom folks called Old Necessity, because he knew no law.
Aye, crackin` in a silken gown, an` sheddin` of a tear,
Ashine wi` gold an` precious stones sat Violet de Vere.
Old Judge McGraw looked dourly down an` stroked his silver beard.
Says he: "Although the Sheriff`s bruised, the lady should be heared.
What can you say in your defence? We`ll give you a square deal."
"I jest forget," said Violet. "Maybe it was my heel.
I always want to kick the gong when I am feelin` gay;
It`s most unfortunate, I guess, his face was in the way."
Then scratchin` of his snowy pow the Judge looked down severe,
Where bright wi` paint like plaster saint sat Violet de Vere.

Says he: "I`m going to impose a twenty dollar fine."
Says Violet: "Your Honour, to your judgement I resign.
I realize I should not my agility reveal:
Next time I`ll kick the Sheriff with my toe and not my heel.
I`m grateful to the Court because I`m not put in the clink;
There`s twenty plunks to pay my fine,—but now I come to think:
Judge, darlin`, you`ve been owin` me five bucks for near a year:
Take fifteen,—there! We`ll call it square," said Violet de Vere.
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