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Robert W Service - The Shorter Catechism
Work rating: Medium

I burned my fingers on the stove
          And wept with bitterness;
But poor old Auntie Maggie strove
          To comfort my distress.
Said she: `Think, lassie, how you`ll burn
          Like any wicked besom
In fires of hell if you don`t learn
          Your Shorter Catechism.`

A man`s chief end is it began,
          (No mention of a woman`s),
To glorify—I think it ran,
          The God who made poor humans.
And as I learned, I thought: if this—
          (My distaste growing stronger),
The Shorter Catechism is,
          Lord save us from the longer.

The years have passed and I begin
          (Although I`m far from clever),
To doubt if when we die in sin
          Our bodies grill forever.
Now I`ve more surface space to burn,
          Since I am tall and lissom,
I think it`s hell enough to learn
          The Shorter Catechism.
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