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Robert W Service - Infidelity
Work rating: Low

Three Triangles

TRIANGLE ONE

My husband put some poison in my beer,
And fondly hoped that I would drink it up.
He would get rid of me - no bloody fear,
For when his back was turned I changed the cup.
He took it all, and if he did not die,
Its just because he`s heartier than I.

And now I watch and watch him night and day
dreading that he will try it on again.
I`m getting like a skeleton they say,
And every time I feel the slightest pain
I think: he`s got me this time. . . . Oh the beast!
He might have let me starve to death, at least.

But all he thinks of is that shell-pink nurse.
I know as well as well that they`re in loe.
I`m sure they kiss, and maybe do things worse,
Although she looks as gentle as a dove.
I see their eyes with passion all aglow:
I know they only wait for me to go.

Ah well, I`ll go (I have to, anyway),

But they will pay the price of lust and sin.
I`ve sent a letter to the police to say:
"If I should die its them have dome me in."
And now a lot of vernal I`ll take,
And go to sleep, and never, never wake.

But won`t I laugh! Aye, even when I`m dead,
To think of them both hanging by the head.

TRIANGLE TWO

My wife`s a fancy bit of stuff it`s true;
But that`s no reason she should do me dirt.
Of course I know a girl is tempted to,
With mountain men a-fussin` round her skirt.
A `andome  women`s bound to `ave a `eart,
But that`s no reason she should be a tart.

I didn`t oughter give me `ome address
To sergeant when `e last went on `is leave;
And now the `ole shebang`s a bloody mess;
I didn`t think the missis would deceive.
And `ere was I, a-riskin` of me life,
And thee was `e, a-sleepin` wiv me wife.

Go blimy, but this thing `as got to stop.
Well, next time when we makes a big attack,
As soon as we gets well across the top,
I`ll plug `em (accidental) in the back.
`E`ll cop a blinkin` packet in `is spine,
And that`ll be the end of `im, the swine.

It`s easy in the muck-up of a fight;
And all me mates`ll think it was the foe.
And `oo can say it doesn`t serve `im right?
And I`ll go `ome and none will ever know,
My missis didn`t oughter do that sort o` thing,
Seein` as `ow she wears my weddin` ring.

Well, we`ll be just as `appy as before,
When otherwise she might a` bin a `ore.

TRIANGLE THREE

It`s fun to see Joe fuss around that kid.
I know `e loves `er more than all the rest,
Because she`s by a lot the prettiest.
`E wouldn`t lose `er for a `undred quid.
I love `er too, because she isn`t his`n;
But Jim, his brother`s, wot they`ve put in prision.

It`s `ard to `ave a `usband wot you `ate;
So soft that if `e knowed you`d `ad a tup,
`E wouldn`t `ave the guts to beat you up.
Now Jim - `e`s wot I call a proper mate.
I daren`t try no monkey tricks wiv `im.
`E`d flay be `ide off (quite right, too) would Jim.

I won`t let on to Jim when `e comes out;
But Joe - each time I see `im kissin` Nell,
I `ave to leave the room and laughlike `ell.
"E`ll `ave the benefit (damn little) of the doubt.
So let `im kiss our Nellie fit to smother;
There ain`t no proof `er father is `is brother.

Well, anyway I`ve no remorse. You see,
I`ve kept my frailty in the family.
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