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Robert W Service - Bonehead Bill
Work rating: Medium

I wonder `oo and wot `e was,
That `Un I got so slick.
I couldn`t see `is face because
The night was `ideous thick.
I just made out among the black
A blinkin` wedge o` white;
Then biff! I guess I got `im crack —
The man I killed last night.

I wonder if account o` me
Some wench will go unwed,
And `eaps o` lives will never be,
Because `e`s stark and dead?
Or if `is missis damns the war,
And by some candle light,
Tow-headed kids are prayin` for
The Fritz I copped last night.

I wonder, `struth, I wonder why
I `ad that `orful dream?
I saw up in the giddy sky
The gates o` God agleam;
I saw the gates o` `eaven shine
Wiv everlastin` light:
And then . . . I knew that I`d got mine,
As `e got `is last night.

Aye, bang beyond the broodin` mists
Where spawn the mother stars,
I `ammered wiv me bloody fists
Upon them golden bars;
I `ammered till a devil`s doubt
Fair froze me wiv affright:
To fink wot God would say about
The bloke I corpsed last night.

I `ushed; I wilted wiv despair,
When, like a rosy flame,
I sees a angel standin` there
`Oo calls me by me name.
`E `ad such soft, such shiny eyes;
`E `eld `is `and and smiled;
And through the gates o` Paradise
`E led me like a child.

`E led me by them golden palms
Wot `ems that jeweled street;
And seraphs was a-singin` psalms,
You`ve no ideer `ow sweet;
Wiv cheroobs crowdin` closer round
Than peas is in a pod,
`E led me to a shiny mound
Where beams the throne o` God.

And then I `ears God`s werry voice:
"Bill `agan, `ave no fear.
Stand up and glory and rejoice
For `im `oo led you `ere."
And in a nip I seemed to see:
Aye, like a flash o` light,
My angel pal I knew to be
The chap I plugged last night.

Now, I don`t claim to understand —
They calls me Bonehead Bill;
They shoves a rifle in me `and,
And show me `ow to kill.
Me job`s to risk me life and limb,
But . . . be it wrong or right,
This cross I`m makin`, it`s for `im,
The cove I croaked last night.
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