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Robert W Service - My Dentist
Work rating: Medium

Sitting in the dentist`s chair,
Wishing that I wasn`t there,
To forget and pass the time
I have made this bit of rhyme.

I had a rendez-vous at ten;
I rushed to get in line,
But found a lot of dames and men
Had waited there since nine;
I stared at them, then in an hour
Was blandly ushered in;
But though my face was grim and sour
He met me with a grin.

He told me of his horse of blood,
And how it "also ran",
He plans to own a racing stud -
(He seems a wealthy man.)
And then he left me there until
I growled: "At any rate,
I hope he`ll not charge in his bill
For all the time I wait."

His wife has sables on her back,
With jewels she`s ablaze;
She drives a stately Cadillac,
And I`m the mug who pays:
At least I`m one of those who peer
With pessimistic gloom
At magazines of yester-year
In his damn waiting room.

I am a Christian Scientist;
I don`t believe in pain;
My dentist had a powerful wrist,
He tries and tries in vain
To make me grunt or groan or squeal
With probe or rasp or drill. . . .
But oh, what agony I feel
When HE PRESENTS HIS BILL!

Sitting in the dental chair,
Don`t you wish you weren`t there:
Well, your cup of woe to fill,
Just think of his infernal bill.
Source
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