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Paul Laurence Dunbar - Appreciation
Work rating: Low

MY muvver`s ist the nicest one
`At ever lived wiz folks;
She lets you have ze mostes` fun,
An` laffs at all your jokes.
I got a ol` maid auntie, too,
The worst you ever saw;
Her eyes ist bore you through and through, — 
She ain`t a bit like ma.
She`s ist as slim as slim can be,
An` when you want to slide
Down on ze balusters, w`y she
Says `at she`s harrified.
She ain`t as nice as Uncle Ben,
What says `at little boys
Won`t never grow to be big men
Unless they`re fond of noise.
But muvver`s nicer zan `em all,
She calls you, "precious lamb,"
An` let`s you roll your ten-pin ball,
An` spreads your bread wiz jam.
An` when you`re bad, she ist looks sad,
You fink she`s goin` to cry;
An` when she don`t you`re awful glad,
An` den you`re good, Oh, my!
At night, she takes ze softest hand,
An` lays it on your head,
An` says "Be off to Sleepy-Land
By way o` trundle-bed."
So when you fink what muvver knows
An` aunts an` uncle tan`t,
It skeers a feller; ist suppose
His muvver `d been a aunt.
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