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Rudyard Kipling - The Absent Minded Beggar
Work rating: Medium

When you`ve shouted "Rule Britannia": when you`ve sung "God Save the                                                                                                           Queen"
When you`ve finished killing Kruger with your mouth:
Will you kindly drop a shilling in my little tambourine
For a gentleman in khaki ordered South?
He`s an absent-minded beggar and his weaknesses are great:
But we and Paul must take him as we find him:
He is out on active service wiping something off a slate:
And he`s left a lot of little things behind him!
Duke`s son – cook`s son – son of a hundred kings,
(Fifty thousand horse and foot going to Table Bay!)
Each of `em doing his country`s work (and who`s to look after the things?)
Pass the hat for your credit`s sake, 
                                                              and pay – pay – pay!

There are girls he married secret, asking no permission to,
For he knew he wouldn`t get it if he did.
There is gas and coal and vittles, and the house-rent falling due,
And it`s rather more than likely there`s a kid.
There are girls he walked with casual, they`ll be sorry now he`s gone,
For an absent-minded beggar they will find him,
But it ain`t the time for sermons with the winter coming on:
We must help the girl that Tommy`s left behind him!
Cook`s son – Duke`s son – son of a belted Earl,
Son of a Lambeth publican – it`s all the same to-day!
Each of `em doing his country`s work (and who`s to look after the girl?)
Pass the hat for your credit`s sake, 
                                                             and pay – pay – pay!

There are families by the thousands, far too proud to beg or speak:
And they`ll put their sticks and bedding up the spout,
And they`ll live on half o` nothing paid `em punctual once a week,
`Cause the man that earned the wage is ordered out.
He`s an absent-minded beggar, but he heard his country`s call,
And his reg`ment didn`t need to send to find him;
He chucked his job and joined it – so the task before us all
Is to help the home that Tommy`s left behind him!
Duke`s job – cook`s job – gardener, baronet, groom -
Mews or palace or paper-shop – there`s someone gone away!
Each of `em doing his country`s work (and who`s to look after the room?)
Pass the hat for your credit`s sake, 
                                                              and pay – pay – pay!

Let us manage so as later we can look him in the face,
And tell him what he`d very much prefer:
That, while he saved the Empire his employer saved his place,
And his mates (that`s you and me) looked out for her.
He`s an absent-minded beggar, and he may forget it all,
But we do not want his kiddies to remind him
That we sent `em to the workhouse while their daddy hammered Paul,
So we`ll help the homes that Tommy`s left behind him!
Cook`s home – Duke`s home – home of a millionaire –
(Fifty thousand horse and foot going to Table Bay!)
Each of `em doing his country`s work (and what have you got to spare?)
Pass the hat for your credit`s sake,  
                                                               and pay – pay – pay!
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