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Rudyard Kipling - The Jacket
Work rating: Low

Through the Plagues of Egyp` we was chasin` Arabi,
 Gettin` down an` shovin` in the sun;
An` you might `ave called us dirty, an` you might ha` called us dry,
 An` you might `ave `eard us talkin` at the gun.
But the Captain `ad `is jacket, an` the jacket it was new —
 (`Orse Gunners, listen to my song!)
An` the wettin` of the jacket is the proper thing to do,
 Nor we didn`t keep `im waitin` very long.
 
One day they gave us orders for to shell a sand redoubt,
 Loadin` down the axle-arms with case;
But the Captain knew `is dooty, an` he took the crackers out
 An` he put some proper liquor in its place.
An` the Captain saw the shrapnel, which is six-an`-thirty clear.
 (`Orse Gunners, listen to my song!)
"Will you draw the weight," sez `e, "or will you draw the beer?"
 An` we didn`t keep `im waitin` very long.
  ~For the Captain, etc.~
 
Then we trotted gentle, not to break the bloomin` glass,
 Though the Arabites `ad all their ranges marked;
But we dursn`t `ardly gallop, for the most was bottled Bass,
 An` we`d dreamed of it since we was disembarked:
So we fired economic with the shells we `ad in `and,
 (`Orse Gunners, listen to my song!)
But the beggars under cover `ad the impidence to stand,
 An` we couldn`t keep `em waitin` very long.
  ~And the Captain, etc.~
 
So we finished `arf the liquor (an` the Captain took champagne),
 An` the Arabites was shootin` all the while;
An` we left our wounded `appy with the empties on the plain,
 An` we used the bloomin` guns for pro-jec-tile!
We limbered up an` galloped — there were nothin` else to do —
 (`Orse Gunners, listen to my song!)
An` the Battery came a-boundin` like a boundin` kangaroo,
 But they didn`t watch us comin` very long.
  ~As the Captain, etc.~
 
We was goin` most extended — we was drivin` very fine,
 An` the Arabites were loosin` `igh an` wide,
Till the Captain took the glassy with a rattlin` right incline,
 An` we dropped upon their `eads the other side.
Then we give `em quarter — such as `adn`t up and cut,
 (`Orse Gunners, listen to my song!)
An` the Captain stood a limberful of fizzy — somethin` Brutt,
 But we didn`t leave it fizzing very long.
  ~For the Captain, etc.~
 
We might ha` been court-martialled, but it all come out all right
 When they signalled us to join the main command.
There was every round expended, there was every gunner tight,
 An` the Captain waved a corkscrew in `is `and.
  ~But the Captain `ad `is jacket, etc.~
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