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Rudyard Kipling - That Day
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It got beyond all orders an` it got beyond all `ope;
 It got to shammin` wounded an` retirin` from the `alt.
`Ole companies was lookin` for the nearest road to slope;
 It were just a bloomin` knock-out — an` our fault!
 
     Now there ain`t no chorus `ere to give,
      Nor there ain`t no band to play;
     An` I wish I was dead `fore I done what I did,
      Or seen what I seed that day!
 
We was sick o` bein` punished, an` we let `em know it, too;
 An` a company-commander up an` `it us with a sword,
An` some one shouted "`Ook it!" an` it come to ~sove-ki-poo~,
 An` we chucked our rifles from us — O my Gawd!
 
There was thirty dead an` wounded on the ground we wouldn`t keep —
 No, there wasn`t more than twenty when the front begun to go;
But, Christ! along the line o` flight they cut us up like sheep,
 An` that was all we gained by doin` so.
 
I `eard the knives be`ind me, but I dursn`t face my man,
 Nor I don`t know where I went to, `cause I didn`t `alt to see,
Till I `eard a beggar squealin` out for quarter as `e ran,
 An` I thought I knew the voice an` — it was me!
 
We was `idin` under bedsteads more than `arf a march away;
 We was lyin` up like rabbits all about the countryside;
An` the major cursed `is Maker `cause `e lived to see that day,
 An` the colonel broke `is sword acrost, an` cried.
 
We was rotten `fore we started — we was never disci~plined~;
 We made it out a favour if an order was obeyed;
Yes, every little drummer `ad `is rights an` wrongs to mind,
 So we had to pay for teachin` — an` we paid!
 
The papers `id it `andsome, but you know the Army knows;
 We was put to groomin` camels till the regiments withdrew,
An` they gave us each a medal for subduin` England`s foes,
 An` I `ope you like my song — because it`s true!
 
     An` there ain`t no chorus `ere to give,
      Nor there ain`t no band to play;
     But I wish I was dead `fore I done what I did,
      Or seen what I seed that day!
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