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Rudyard Kipling - The Mother-Lodge
Work rating: Low

There was Rundle, Station Master,
 An` Beazeley of the Rail,
An` `Ackman, Commissariat,
 An` Donkin` o` the Jail;
An` Blake, Conductor-Sargent,
 Our Master twice was `e,
With `im that kept the Europe-shop,
 Old Framjee Eduljee.
 
     Outside -- "Sergeant!  Sir!  Salute!  Salaam!"
     Inside -- "Brother", an` it doesn`t do no `arm.
     We met upon the Level an` we parted on the Square,
     An` I was Junior Deacon in my Mother-Lodge out there!
 
We`d Bola Nath, Accountant,
 An` Saul the Aden Jew,
An` Din Mohammed, draughtsman
 Of the Survey Office too;
There was Babu Chuckerbutty,
 An` Amir Singh the Sikh,
An` Castro from the fittin`-sheds,
 The Roman Catholick!
 
We `adn`t good regalia,
 An` our Lodge was old an` bare,
But we knew the Ancient Landmarks,
 An` we kep` `em to a hair;
An` lookin` on it backwards
 It often strikes me thus,
There ain`t such things as infidels,
 Excep`, per`aps, it`s us.
 
For monthly, after Labour,
 We`d all sit down and smoke
(We dursn`t give no banquits,
 Lest a Brother`s caste were broke),
An` man on man got talkin`
 Religion an` the rest,
An` every man comparin`
 Of the God `e knew the best.
 
So man on man got talkin`,
 An` not a Brother stirred
Till mornin` waked the parrots
 An` that dam` brain-fever-bird;
We`d say `twas `ighly curious,
 An` we`d all ride `ome to bed,
With Mo`ammed, God, an` Shiva
 Changin` pickets in our `ead.
 
Full oft on Guv`ment service
 This rovin` foot `ath pressed,
An` bore fraternal greetin`s
 To the Lodges east an` west,
Accordin` as commanded
 From Kohat to Singapore,
But I wish that I might see them
 In my Mother-Lodge once more!
 
I wish that I might see them,
 My Brethren black an` brown,
With the trichies smellin` pleasant
 An` the hog-darn passin` down; 
An` the old khansamah snorin`                                   
 On the bottle-khana floor, 
Like a Master in good standing
 With my Mother-Lodge once more!
 
     Outside -- "Sergeant!  Sir!  Salute!  Salaam!"
     Inside -- "Brother", an` it doesn`t do no `arm.
     We met upon the Level an` we parted on the Square,
     An` I was Junior Deacon in my Mother-Lodge out there!
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