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Rudyard Kipling - Bill `Awkins
Work rating: Low

"`As anybody seen Bill `Awkins?"
    "Now `ow in the devil would I know?"
"`E`s taken my girl out walkin`,
    An` I`ve got to tell `im so —
       Gawd — bless — `im!
    I`ve got to tell `im so."
 
 "D`yer know what `e`s like, Bill `Awkins?"
    "Now what in the devil would I care?"
"`E`s the livin`, breathin` image of an organ-grinder`s monkey,
    With a pound of grease in `is `air —
       Gawd — bless — `im!
    An` a pound o` grease in `is `air."
 
 "An` s`pose you met Bill `Awkins,
    Now what in the devil `ud ye do?"
"I`d open `is cheek to `is chin-strap buckle,
    An` bung up `is both eyes, too —
       Gawd — bless — `im!
    An` bung up `is both eyes, too!"
 
 "Look `ere, where `e comes, Bill `Awkins!
    Now what in the devil will you say?"
"It isn`t fit an` proper to be fightin` on a Sunday,
    So I`ll pass `im the time o` day —
       Gawd — bless — `im!
    I`ll pass `im the time o` day!"
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