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Jane Austen - Oh! Mr Best You`re Very Bad
Work rating: Medium

Oh! Mr. Best, you`re very bad
And all the world shall know it;
Your base behaviour shall be sung
By me, a tunefull Poet.— 
You used to go to Harrowgate
Each summer as it came,
And why I pray should you refuse
To go this year the same?— 

The way`s as plain, the road`s as smooth,
The Posting not increased;
You`re scarcely stouter than you were,
Not younger Sir at least.— 

If e`er the waters were of use
Why now their use forego?
You may not live another year,
All`s mortal here below.— 

It is your duty Mr Best
To give your health repair.
Vain else your Richard`s pills will be,
And vain your Consort`s care. 

But yet a nobler Duty calls
You now towards the North.
Arise ennobled—as Escort
Of Martha Lloyd stand forth. 

She wants your aid—she honours you
With a distinguished call.
Stand forth to be the friend of her
Who is the friend of all.— 

Take her, and wonder at your luck,
In having such a Trust.
Her converse sensible and sweet
Will banish heat and dust.— 

So short she`ll make the journey seem
You`ll bid the Chaise stand still.
T`will be like driving at full speed
From Newb`ry to Speen hill.— 

Convey her safe to Morton`s wife
And I`ll forget the past,
And write some verses in your praise
As finely and as fast. 

But if you still refuse to go
I`ll never let your rest,
Buy haunt you with reproachful song
Oh! wicked Mr. Best!—
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