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Gilbert Keith Chesterton - The Ballad of the Anti-Puritan
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They spoke of Progress spiring round, 
          Of light and Mrs Humphrey Ward— 
          It is not true to say I frowned, 
          Or ran about the room and roared; 
          I might have simply sat and snored— 
          I rose politely in the club 
          And said, `I feel a little bored; 
          Will someone take me to a pub?` 

          The new world`s wisest did surround 
          Me; and it pains me to record 
          I did not think their views profound, 
          Or their conclusions well assured; 
          The simple life I can`t afford, 
          Besides, I do not like the grub— 
          I want a mash and sausage, `scored`— 
          Will someone take me to a pub? 

          I know where Men can still be found, 
          Anger and clamorous accord, 
          And virtues growing from the ground, 
          And fellowship of beer and board, 
          And song, that is a sturdy cord, 
          And hope, that is a hardy shrub, 
          And goodness, that is God`s last word— 
          Will someone take me to a pub? 

                        Envoi 
          Prince, Bayard would have smashed his sword 
          To see the sort of knights you dub— 
          Is that the last of them—O Lord 
          Will someone take me to a pub?
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