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James Russell Lowell - What Mr. Robinson Thinks
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Guvener B. is a sensible man;
He stays to his home an` looks arter his folks;
He draws his furrer ez straight ez he can,
An` into nobody`s tater-patch pokes;—
But John P.
Robinson he
Sez he wunt vote fer Guvener B.

My! aint it terrible? Wut shall we du?
We can`t never choose him o` course,—thet`s flat;
Guess we shall hev to come round, (don`t you?)
An` go in fer thunder an` guns, an` all that;
Fer John P.
Robinson he
Sez he wunt vote fer Guvener

Gincral C. is a dreffle smart man:
He`s ben on all sides thet give places or pelf;
But consistency still wuz a part of his plan,—
He`s been true to one party—an` thet is himself;—
So John P.
Robinson he
Sez he shall vote fer Gineral C.

Gineral C. he goes in fer the war;
He don`t vally principle more `n an old cud;
Wut did God make us raytional creeturs fer,
But glory an` gunpowder, plunder an` blood?
So John P.
Robinson he
Sez he shall vote fer Gineral C.

We were gittin` on nicely up here to our village,
With good old idees o` wut`s right an` wut aint
We kind o` thought Christ went agin war an` pillage,
An` thet eppyletts worn`t the best mark of a saint,
But John P.
Robinson he
Sez this kind o` thing`s an exploded idee.

The side of our country must oilers be took,
An` Presidunt Polk` you know he is our country.
An` the angel thet writes all our sins in a book
Puts the debit to him, an` to us the per contry
An` John P.
Robinson he
Sez this is his view o` the thing to a T.

Parson Wilbur he calls all these argimunts lies;
Sez they`re nothin` on airth but jest fee, faw, fum:
An` thet all this big talk of our destinies
Is half on it ign`ance, an` t` other half rum,
But John P.
Robinson he
Sez it aint no seek thing; an`, of course, so must we.

Parson Wilbur sez he never heerd in his life
Thet th` Apostles rigged out in their swaller-tail coats,
An` marched round in front of a drum an` a fife,
To git some on `em office, an` some on `em votes,
But John P.
Robinson he
Sez they didn`t know everthin` down in Judee.

Wal, it`s a marcy we`ve gut folks to tell us
The rights an` the wrongs o` these matters,
I vow, God sends country lawyers, an` other wise fellers
To start the world`s team wen it gits in a Slough;
Fer John P.
Robinson he
Sez the world `ll go right, ef he hollers out Gee!
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