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William Schwenck Gilbert - The Sailor Boy to His Lass
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I go away this blessed day,
To sail across the sea, MATILDA!
My vessel starts for various parts
At twenty after three, MATILDA.
I hardly know where we may go,
Or if it`s near or far, MATILDA,
For CAPTAIN HYDE does not confide
In any `fore-mast tar, MATILDA!

Beneath my ban that mystic man
Shall suffer, COUTE QUI COUTE, MATILDA!
What right has he to keep from me
The Admiralty route, MATILDA?
Because, forsooth! I am a youth
Of common sailors` lot, MATILDA!
Am I a man on human plan
Designed, or am I not, MATILDA?

But there, my lass, we`ll let that pass!
With anxious love I burn, MATILDA.
I want to know if we shall go
To church when I return, MATILDA?
Your eyes are red, you bow your head;
It`s pretty clear you thirst, MATILDA,
To name the day - What`s that you say?
- "You`ll see me further first," MATILDA?

I can`t mistake the signs you make,
Although you barely speak, MATILDA;
Though pure and young, you thrust your tongue
Right in your pretty cheek, MATILDA!
My dear, I fear I hear you sneer -
I do - I`m sure I do, MATILDA!
With simple grace you make a face,
Ejaculating, "Ugh!" MATILDA.

Oh, pause to think before you drink
The dregs of Lethe`s cup, MATILDA!
Remember, do, what I`ve gone through,
Before you give me up, MATILDA!
Recall again the mental pain
Of what I`ve had to do, MATILDA!
And be assured that I`ve endured
It, all along of you, MATILDA!

Do you forget, my blithesome pet,
How once with jealous rage, MATILDA,
I watched you walk and gaily talk
With some one thrice your age, MATILDA?
You squatted free upon his knee,
A sight that made me sad, MATILDA!
You pinched his cheek with friendly tweak,
Which almost drove me mad, MATILDA!

I knew him not, but hoped to spot
Some man you thought to wed, MATILDA!
I took a gun, my darling one,
And shot him through the head, MATILDA!
I`m made of stuff that`s rough and gruff
Enough, I own; but, ah, MATILDA!
It DID annoy your sailor boy
To find it was your pa, MATILDA!

I`ve passed a life of toil and strife,
And disappointments deep, MATILDA;
I`ve lain awake with dental ache
Until I fell asleep, MATILDA!
At times again I`ve missed a train,
Or p`rhaps run short of tin, MATILDA,
And worn a boot on corns that shoot,
Or, shaving, cut my chin, MATILDA.

But, oh! no trains - no dental pains -
Believe me when I say, MATILDA,
No corns that shoot - no pinching boot
Upon a summer day, MATILDA -
It`s my belief, could cause such grief
As that I`ve suffered for, MATILDA,
My having shot in vital spot
Your old progenitor, MATILDA.

Bethink you how I`ve kept the vow
I made one winter day, MATILDA -
That, come what could, I never would
Remain too long away, MATILDA.
And, oh! the crimes with which, at times,
I`ve charged my gentle mind, MATILDA,
To keep the vow I made - and now
You treat me so unkind, MATILDA!

For when at sea, off Caribbee,
I felt my passion burn, MATILDA,
By passion egged, I went and begged
The captain to return, MATILDA.
And when, my pet, I couldn`t get
That captain to agree, MATILDA,
Right through a sort of open port
I pitched him in the sea, MATILDA!

Remember, too, how all the crew
With indignation blind, MATILDA,
Distinctly swore they ne`er before
Had thought me so unkind, MATILDA.
And how they`d shun me one by one -
An unforgiving group, MATILDA -
I stopped their howls and sulky scowls
By pizening their soup, MATILDA!

So pause to think, before you drink
The dregs of Lethe`s cup, MATILDA;
Remember, do, what I`ve gone through,
Before you give me up, MATILDA.
Recall again the mental pain
Of what I`ve had to do, MATILDA,
And be assured that I`ve endured
It, all along of you, MATILDA!
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