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William Schwenck Gilbert - Sir Barnaby Bampton Boo
Work rating: Low

This is SIR BARNABY BAMPTON BOO,
Last of a noble race,
BARNABY BAMPTON, coming to woo,
All at a deuce of a pace.
BARNABY BAMPTON BOO,
Here is a health to you:
Here is wishing you luck, you elderly buck -
BARNABY BAMPTON BOO!

The excellent women of Tuptonvee
Knew SIR BARNABY BOO;
One of them surely his bride would be,
But dickens a soul knew who.
Women of Tuptonvee,
Here is a health to ye
For a Baronet, dears, you would cut off your ears,
Women of Tuptonvee!

Here are old MR. and MRS. DE PLOW
(PETER his Christian name),
They kept seven oxen, a pig, and a cow -
Farming it was their game.
Worthy old PETER DE PLOW,
Here is a health to thou:
Your race isn`t run, though you`re seventy-one,
Worthy old PETER DE PLOW!

To excellent MR. and MRS. DE PLOW
Came SIR BARNABY BOO,
He asked for their daughter, and told `em as how
He was as rich as a Jew.
BARNABY BAMPTON`S wealth,
Here is your jolly good health:
I`d never repine if you came to be mine,
BARNABY BAMPTON`S wealth!

"O great SIR BARNABY BAMPTON BOO"
(Said PLOW to that titled swell),
"My missus has given me daughters two -
AMELIA and VOLATILE NELL!"
AMELIA and VOLATILE NELL,
I hope you`re uncommonly well:
You two pretty pearls - you extremely nice girls -
AMELIA and VOLATILE NELL!

"AMELIA is passable only, in face,
But, oh! she`s a worthy girl;
Superior morals like hers would grace
The home of a belted Earl."
Morality, heavenly link!
To you I`ll eternally drink:
I`m awfully fond of that heavenly bond,
Morality, heavenly link!

"Now NELLY`S the prettier, p`raps, of my gals,
But, oh! she`s a wayward chit;
She dresses herself in her showy fal-lals,
And doesn`t read TUPPER a bit!"
O TUPPER, philosopher true,
How do you happen to do?
A publisher looks with respect on your books,
For they DO sell, philosopher true!

The Bart.  (I`ll be hanged if I drink him again,
Or care if he`s ill or well),
He sneered at the goodness of MILLY THE PLAIN,
And cottoned to VOLATILE NELL!
O VOLATILE NELLY DE P.!
Be hanged if I`ll empty to thee:
I like worthy maids, not mere frivolous jades,
VOLATILE NELLY DE P.!

They bolted, the Bart. and his frivolous dear,
And MILLY was left to pout;
For years they`ve got on very well, as I hear,
But soon he will rue it, no doubt.
O excellent MILLY DE PLOW,
I really can`t drink to you now;
My head isn`t strong, and the song has been long,
Excellent MILLY DE PLOW!
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