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William Schwenck Gilbert - Said I to Myself, Said I
Work rating: Low

When I went to the Bar as a very young man
(Said I to myself - said I),
I`ll work on a new and original plan
(Said I to myself - said I),
I`ll never assume that a rogue or a thief
Is a gentleman worthy implicit belief,
Because his attorney, has sent me a brief
(Said I to myself - said I!)

I`ll never throw dust in a juryman`s eyes
(Said I to myself - said I),
Or hoodwink a judge who is not over-wise
(Said I to myself - said I),
Or assume that the witnesses summoned in force
In Exchequer, Queen`s Bench, Common Pleas, or Divorce,
Have perjured themselves as a matter of course
(Said I to myself - said I!)

Ere I go into court I will read my brief through
(Said I to myself - said I),
And I`ll never take work I`m unable to do
(Said I to myself - said I).
My learned profession I`ll never disgrace
By taking a fee with a grin on my face,
When I haven`t been there to attend to the case
(Said I to myself - said I!)

In other professions in which men engage
(Said I to myself - said I),
The Army, the Navy, the Church, and the Stage,
(Said I to myself - said I),
Professional licence, if carried too far,
Your chance of promotion will certainly mar -
And I fancy the rule might apply to the Bar
(Said I to myself - said I!)
Source
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