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William Schwenck Gilbert - A Man Who Would Woo a Fair Maid
Work rating: Medium

A man who would woo a fair maid,
Should `prentice himself to the trade;
And study all day,
In methodical way,
How to flatter, cajole, and persuade.
He should `prentice himself at fourteen
And practise from morning to e`en;
And when he`s of age,
If he will, I`ll engage,
He may capture the heart of a queen!
It is purely a matter of skill,
Which all may attain if they will:
But every Jack
He must study the knack
If he wants to make sure of his Jill!

If he`s made the best use of his time,
His twig he`ll so carefully lime
That every bird
Will come down at his word.
Whatever its plumage and clime.
He must learn that the thrill of a touch
May mean little, or nothing, or much;
It`s an instrument rare,
To be handled with care,
And ought to be treated as such.
It is purely a matter of skill,
Which all may attain if they will:
But every Jack,
He must study the knack
If he wants to make sure of his Jill!

Then a glance may be timid or free;
It will vary in mighty degree,
From an impudent stare
To a look of despair
That no maid without pity can see.
And a glance of despair is no guide -
It may have its ridiculous side;
It may draw you a tear
Or a box on the ear;
You can never be sure till you`ve tried.
It is purely a matter of skill,
Which all may attain if they will:
But every Jack
He must study the knack
If he wants to make sure of his Jill!
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