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John Betjeman - Executive
Work rating: Low

I am a young executive. No cuffs than mine are cleaner;
I have a Slimline brief-case and I use the firm`s Cortina.
In every roadside hostelry from here to Burgess Hill
The maîtres d`hôtel all know me well, and let me sign the bill.

You ask me what it is I do. Well, actually, you know,
I`m partly a liaison man, and partly P.R.O.
Essentially, I integrate the current export drive
And basically I`m viable from ten o`clock till five.

For vital off-the-record work - that`s talking transport-wise -
I`ve a scarlet Aston-Martin - and does she go? She flies!
Pedestrians and dogs and cats, we mark them down for slaughter.
I also own a speedboat which has never touched the water.

She`s built of fibre-glass, of course. I call her `Mandy Jane`
After a bird I used to know - No soda, please, just plain -
And how did I acquire her? Well, to tell you about that
And to put you in the picture, I must wear my other hat.

I do some mild developing. The sort of place I need
Is a quiet country market town that`s rather run to seed
A luncheon and a drink or two, a little savoir faire -
I fix the Planning Officer, the Town Clerk and the Mayor.

And if some Preservationist attempts to interfere
A `dangerous structure` notice from the Borough Engineer
Will settle any buildings that are standing in our way -
The modern style, sir, with respect, has really come to stay.
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