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William Henry Drummond - Phil-O-Rum`s
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O Ma ole canoe! w`at`s matter wit` you,
   an` w`y was you be so slow?
Don `t I work hard enough on de paddle, an` 
   still you don `t seem to go-
No win` at all on de fronte side, an` current 
   she don `t be strong,
Den w`y are you lak lazy feller, too sleepy for
   move along?

"I `member de tam w`en you jomp de sam` as
   deer wit` de wolf behin`
An` brochet on d top de water, you scare
   heem mos` off hees min`;
But fish don `t care for you now at all, only jus`
   mebbe wink de eye,
For he know it `s easy get out de way w`en you
   was a passin` by."

I `m spikin` dis way de oder day w`en I `m
   out wit`de ole canoe,
Crossin` de point w`ere I see las` fall wan very
   beeg caribou,
W`en somebody say, "Phil-o-rum, mon vieux,
   wat`s matter wit` you youse`f?"
An` who do you s`pose was talkin`? w`y de
   poor ole canoe shese`f.

O yass, I `m scare w`en I `m sittin` dere an` 
   she `s callin` ma nam` dat way:
"Phil-o-rum Juneau, w`y you spik so moche,
   you `re off on de head to-day
Can`t be you forget ole feller, you an` me
   we `re not too young,
An` if  I`m  lookin` so ole lak you, I t`ink I
   will close ma tongue.

"You should feel ashame; for you `re alway
   blame, w`en it is n`t ma fault at all
For I `m tryin` to do bes` I can for you on sum-
   mer-tam, spring, an` fall.
How offen you drown on de reever if I `m not 
   lookin` out for you
W`en you `re takin` too moche on de w`isky
   some night comin` down de Soo.

"De firse tam we go on de Wessoneau no fel-
   ler can beat us den,
For you `re purty strong man wit` de paddle,
   but dat `s long ago ma frien`,
An` win` she can blow off de mountain, an` 
   tonder an` rain may come,
But camp see us bote on de evening-you know
   dat was true Phil-o-rum.

"An` who`s your horse too, but your ole
   canoe, an` w`en you feel cole an` wet
Who was your house w`en I `m upside down
   an` onder  de roof you get,
Wit` rain ronnin` down ma back, Baptême! till
   I `m gettin` de rheumateez,
An` I never say not`ing at all, moi-même, but
   let you do jus` you please.

"You t`ink it was right, kip me out all night
    on reever side down below,
An` even` Bon Soir` you was never say, but
   off on de camp you go
Leffin` your poor ole canoe behin` lyin` dere
   on de groun`
Watchin` de moon on de water, an` de bat
   flyin` all aroun`.

"O! dat `s lonesome t`ing hear de grey owl
   sing up on de beeg pine tree
An` many long night she kip me awake till sun
   on de eas` I see,
An` den you come down on de morning for
   start on some more voyage,
An` only t`ing decen` you do all day is carry
   me on portage.

"Dat `s way Phil-o-rum, rheumateez she
   come, wit` pain ronnin` troo ma side
Wan leetle hole here, noder beeg wan dere, dat
   not`ing can never hide;
Don `t do any good fix me up agen, no matter
   how moche you try,
For w`en we come ole an` our work she `s 
   done, bote man an` canoe mus`die."

"Wall! she talk dat way mebbe mos` de day,
   till we `re passin` some beaver dam
An` wan de young beaver he `s mak` hees tail
   come down on de water flam!
I never see de canoe so scare, she jomp nearly
   two, t`ree feet
I t`ink she was goin` for ronne away, an` she
   shut up de mout` toute suite.

It mak`me feel queer, de strange t`ing I hear,
   an` I `m glad she don `t spik no more,
But soon as we fin`ourse`f arrive over dere on
   de noder shore
I tak`  dat canoe lak de lady, an` carry her off
   wit` me,
For I `m sorry de way I treat her, an` she
   know more dan me, sapree!

Yass! dat `s smart canoe, an` I know it `s true,
   w`at she `s spikin`  wit` me dat day,
I `m not de young feller I use to be w`en work 
   she was only play;
An` I know I was comin` closer on place w`ere
   I mus` tak` care
W`ere de mos` worse current `s de las` wan too,
   de current of Dead Riviere.

You can only steer, an` if rock be near, wit`
      wave dashin` all aroun`, 
Better mak` leetle prayer, for on Dead Riviere
   some very smart man get drown;
But if you be locky an` watch youse`f, mebbe
   reever won `t seem so wide,
An` firse t`ing you know you `ll ronne ashore,
   safe on de noder side.
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