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William Henry Drummond - Maxime Labelle
Work rating: Low

Victoriaw: she have beeg war, E-gyp`s de nam` de place--
An` neeger peep dat`s leev `im dere, got very black de face,
An` so she`s write Joseph Mercier, he`s stop on Trois Rivieres--
"Please come right off, an` bring wit` you t`ree honder voyageurs.

"I got de plaintee sojer, me, beeg feller six foot tall--
Dat`s Englishman, an` Scotch also, don`t wear no pant at all;
Of course, de Irishman`s de bes`, raise all de row he can,
But noboddy can pull batteau lak good Canadian man.

"I geev you steady job for sure, an` w`en you get `im t`roo
I bring you back on Canadaw, don`t cos` de man un sou,
Dat`s firs`-class steamboat all de way Kebeck an` Leeverpool,
An` if you don`t be satisfy, you mus` be beeg, beeg fool."

We meet upon Hotel Dufresne, an` talk heem till daylight,
An` Joe he`s treat so many tam, we very near get tight,
Den affer w`ile, we mak` our min` dat`s not bad chance, an` so
Joseph Mercier he`s telegraph, "Correc`, Madame, we go."

So Joe arrange de whole beez-nesse wit` Queen Victoriaw;
Two dollar day--work all de tam--dat`s purty good l`argent!
An` w`en we start on Trois Rivieres, for pass on boar` de ship,
Our frien` dey all say, "Bon voyage," an` den Hooraw! E-gyp`!

Dat beeg steamboat was plonge so moche, I`m `fraid she never stop--
De Capitaine`s no use at all, can`t kip her on de top--
An` so we all come very sick, jus` lak one leetle pup,
An` ev`ry tam de ship`s go down, de inside she`s go up.

I`m sorry spoke lak dis, ma frien`, if you don`t t`ink it`s so,
Please ax Joseph Mercier hese`f, or Aleck De Courteau,
Dat stay on bed mos` all de tam, so sick dey nearly die,
But lak` some great, beeg Yankee man, was never tole de lie.

De gang she`s travel, travel, t`roo many strange contree,
An` ev`ry place is got new nam`, I don`t remember, me,
We see some fonny t`ing, for sure, more fonny I can tell,
But w`en we reach de Neel Riviere, dat`s feel more naturel.

So many fine, beeg sojer man, I never see before,
All dress heem on grand uniform, is wait upon de shore,
Some black, some green, an` red also, cos` honder dollar sure,
An` holler out, "She`s all right now, here come de voyageurs!"

We see boss Generale also, he`s ride on beeg chameau,
Dat`s w`at you call Ca-melle, I t`ink, I laugh de way she go!
Jomp up, jomp down, jomp ev`ry place, but still de Generale
Seem satisfy for stay on top, dat fonny an-i-mal.

He`s holler out on Joe Mercier, "Comment câ va Joseph
You lak for come right off wit` me, tak` leetle ride yourseff?"
Joseph, he mak` de grand salut, an` tak` it off hees hat,
"Merci, Mon Generale," he say, "I got no use for dat."

Den affer we was drink somet`ing, an` sing "Le Brigadier,"
De sojer fellers get prepare, for mak` de embarquer,
An` everybody`s shout heem out, w`en we tak` hole de boat
"Hooraw pour Queen Victoriaw!" an` also "pour nous autres."

Bigosh; I do hard work mese`f upon de Ottawa,
De Gatineau an` St. Maurice, also de Mattawa,
But I don`t never work at all, I`sure you dat`s a fack
Until we strike de Neel Riviere, an` sapré Catarack!

"Dis way, dat way, can`t keep her straight," "look out, Bateese, look out!"
"Now let her go"--"arrete un peu," dat`s way de pilot shout,
"Don`t wash de neeger girl on shore," an` "prenez garde behin`,"
"W`at`s matter wit` dat rudder man? I t`ink he`s goin` blin`!"

Some tam of course, de boat`s all right, an` carry us along
An` den again, we mak portage, w`en current she`s too strong
On place lak` dat, we run good chance, for sun-struck on de neck,
An` plaintee tam we wish ourseff was back on ole Kebeck.

De seconde Catarack we pass, more beeger dan de Soo,
She`s nearly t`orty mile for sure, it would astonish you,
Dat`s place t`ree Irishman get drown, wan day we have beeg storm,
I s`pose de Queen is feel lak cry, los` dat nice uniform!

De night she`s very, very cole, an` hot upon de day,
An` all de tam, you feel jus` lak you`re goin` melt away,
But never min` an` don`t get scare, you mak` it up all right,
An` twenty poun` you los` dat day, she`s comin` back sam` night.

We got small bugle boy also, he`s mebbe stan` four foot,
An` firs` t`ing ev`ry morning, sure, he mak` it toot! toot! toot!
She`s nice enough upon de day, for hear de bugle call,
But w`en she play before daylight, I don`t lak dat at all.

We mus` get up immediatement, dat leetle feller blow,
An` so we start heem off again, for pull de beeg batteau,
De sojer man he`s nice, nice boy, an` help us all he can,
An` geev heem chance, he`s mos` as good lak some Canadian man.

Wall all de tam, she go lak dat, was busy every day,
Don`t get moche chance for foolish-ness, don`t get no chance for play,
Dere`s plaintee danger all aroun`, an` w`en we`re comin` back
We got look out for run heem safe, dem sapré Catarack.

But w`ere`s de war? I can`t mak` out, don`t see no fight at all!
She`s not`ing but une Grande Piqnique, dat`s las` in all de fall!
Mebbe de neeger King he`s scare, an` skip anoder place,
An` pour la Reine Victoriaw! I never see de face.

But dat`s not ma beez-nesse, ma frien`, I`m ready pull batteau
So long she pay two dollar day, wit` pork an` bean also;
An` if she geev me steady job, for mak` some more l`argent,
I say, "Hooraw! for all de tam, on Queen Victoriaw!"
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