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William Henry Drummond - How Bateese Came Home
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W`en I was young boy on de farm, dat `s twenty year ago
     I have wan frien` he `s leev near me, call Jean Bateese Trudeau
     An offen w`en we are alone, we lak for spik about
     De tam w`en we was come beeg man, wit` moustache on our mout`. 
     Bateese is get it on hees head, he `s too moche educate
     For mak` de habitant farmerre—he better go on State—
     An` so wan summer evening we `re drivin` home de cow
     He `s tole me all de whole beez-nesse—jus` lak you hear me now. 
     "W`at `s use mak` foolish on de farm? dere `s no good chances lef`
    An` all de tam you be poor man—you know dat `s true you`se`f;
    We never get no fun at all—don`t never go on spree
    Onless we pass on `noder place, an` mak` it some monee. 
    "I go on Les Etats Unis, I go dere right away
    An` den mebbe on ten-twelve year, I be riche man some day,
    An` w`en I mak` de large fortune, I come back I s`pose
    Wit` Yankee famme from off de State, an` monee on my clothes. 
    "I tole you somet`ing else also—mon cher Napoleon
    I get de grande majorité, for go on parliament
    Den buil` fine house on borde l`eau—near w`ere de church is stand
    More finer dan de Presbytere, w`en I am come riche man!" 
    I say "For w`at you spik lak dat? you must be gone crazee
    Dere `s plaintee feller on de State, more smarter dan you be,
    Beside she `s not so healtee place, an` if you mak` l`argent,
    You spen` it jus` lak Yankee man, an` not lak habitant. 
    "For me Bateese! I tole you dis: I `m very satisfy—
    De bes` man don`t leev too long tam, some day Ba Gosh! he die—
    An` s`pose you got good trotter horse, an` nice famme Canadienne
    Wit` plaintee on de house for eat—W`at more you want ma frien`?" 
    But Bateese have it all mak` up, I can`t stop him at all
    He `s buy de seconde classe tiquette, for go on Central Fall—
    An` wit` two-t`ree some more de boy,—w`at t`ink de sam` he do
    Pass on de train de very nex` wick, was lef` Rivière du Loup. 
    Wall! mebbe fifteen year or more, since Bateese go away
    I fin` mesef Rivière du Loup, wan cole, cole winter day
    De quick express she come hooraw! but stop de soon she can
    An` beeg swell feller jomp off car, dat `s boss by nigger man. 
    He `s dressim on de première classe, an` got new suit of clothes
    Wit` long moustache dat `s stickim out, de `noder side hees nose
    Fine gol` watch chain—nice portmanteau—an` long, long overcoat
    Wit` beaver hat—dat `s Yankee style—an` red tie on hees t`roat— 
    I say "Helloe Bateese! Hello! Comment ça va mon vieux?"
    He say "Excuse to me, ma frien` I t`ink I don`t know you."
    I say, "She `s very curis t`ing, you are Bateese Trudeau,
    Was raise on jus` sam` place wit` me, dat `s fifteen year ago?" 
    He say, "Oh yass dat `s sure enough—I know you now firs` rate,
    But I forget mos` all ma French since I go on de State.
    Dere `s `noder t`ing kip on your head, ma frien` dey mus` be tole
    Ma name `s Bateese Trudeau no more, but John B. Waterhole!" 
    "Hole on de water `s" fonny name for man w`at `s call Trudeau
    Ma frien`s dey all was spik lak dat, an` I am tole heem so—
    He say "Trudeau an` Waterhole she `s jus` about de sam`
    An` if you go for leev on State, you must have Yankee nam`." 
    Den we invite heem come wit` us, "Hotel du Canadaw"
    W`ere he was treat mos` ev`ry tam, but can`t tak` w`isky blanc,
    He say dat `s leetle strong for man jus` come off Central Fall
    An` "tabac Canayen" bedamme! he won`t smoke dat at all!— 
    But fancy drink lak "Collins John" de way he put it down
    Was long tam since I don`t see dat—I t`ink he `s goin` drown!—
    An` fine cigar cos` five cent each, an` mak` on Trois-Rivières
    L`enfant! he smoke beeg pile of dem—for monee he don`t care! 
    I s`pose meseff it `s t`ree o`clock w`en we are t`roo dat night
    Bateese, hees fader come for heem, an` tak` heem home all right
    De ole man say Bateese spik French, w`en he is place on bed—
    An` say bad word—but w`en he wake—forget it on hees head— 
    Wall! all de winter w`en we have soirée dat `s grande affaire
    Bateese Trudeau, dit Waterhole, he be de boss man dere—
    You bet he have beeg tam, but w`en de spring is come encore
    He `s buy de première classe tiquette for go on State some more. 
    You `member w`en de hard tam come on Les Etats Unis
    An` plaintee Canayens go back for stay deir own contrée?
    Wall! jus` about `dat tam again I go Rivière du Loup
    For sole me two t`ree load of hay—mak` leetle visit too— 
    De freight train she is jus` arrive—only ten hour delay—
    She `s never carry passengaire—dat `s w`at dey always say—
    I see poor man on char caboose—he `s got heem small valise
    Begosh! I nearly tak` de fit,—It is—it is Bateese! 
    He know me very well dis tam, an` say "Bon jour, mon vieux
    I hope you know Bateese Trudeau was educate wit` you
    I `m jus` come off de State to see ma familee encore
    I bus` mesef on Central Fall—I don`t go dere no more." 
    "I got no monee—not at all—I `m broke it up for sure—
    Dat `s locky t`ing, Napoleon, de brakeman Joe Latour
    He `s cousin of wan frien` of me call Camille Valiquette,
    Conductor too `s good Canayen—don`t ax me no tiquette." 
    I tak` Bateese wit` me once more "Hotel du Canadaw"
    An` he was glad for get de chance drink some good w`isky blanc!
    Dat `s warm heem up, an den he eat mos` ev`ryt`ing he see,
    I watch de w`ole beez-nesse mese`f—Monjee! he was hongree! 
    Madame Charette wat `s kip de place get very much excite
    For see de many pork an` bean Bateese put out of sight
    Du pain doré—potate pie—an` `noder t`ing be dere
    But w`en Bateese is get heem t`roo—dey go I don`t know w`ere. 
    It don`t tak` long for tole de news "Bateese come off de State"
    An` purty soon we have beeg crowd, lak village she `s en fête
    Bonhomme Maxime Trudeau hese`f, he `s comin` wit` de pries`
    An` pass` heem on de "Room for eat" w`ere he is see Bateese. 
    Den ev`rybody feel it glad, for watch de embrasser
    An` bimeby de ole man spik "Bateese you here for stay?"
    Bateese he `s cry lak beeg bebè, "Bâ j`eux rester ici.
     An if I never see de State, I `m sure I don`t care—me." 
     "Correc`," Maxime is say right off, " I place you on de farm
     For help your poor ole fader, won`t do you too moche harm
     Please come wit` me on Magasin, I feex you up—bâ oui
     An` den you `re ready for go home an` see de familee." 
     Wall! w`en de ole man an` Bateese come off de Magasin
     Bateese is los` hees Yankee clothes—he `s dress lak Canayen
     Wit` bottes sauvages—ceinture fléché—an` coat wit` capuchon
     An` spik Français au naturel, de sam` as habitant. 
     I see Bateese de oder day, he `s work hees fader`s place
     I t`ink mese`f he `s satisfy—I see dat on hees face
     He say "I got no use for State, mon cher Napoleon
     Kebeck she `s good enough for me—Hooraw pour Canadaw."
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