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Thomas Hood - Faithless Nelly Gray
Work rating: Medium

Ben Battle was a soldier bold,
And used to war`s alarms;
But a cannon-ball took off his legs,
So he laid down his arms.

Now as they bore him off the field,
Said he, `Let others shoot;
For here I leave my second leg,
And the Forty-second Foot.`

The army-surgeons made him limbs:
Said he, `They`re only pegs;
But there`s as wooden members quite,
As represent my legs.`

Now Ben he loved a pretty maid, —
Her name was Nelly Gray;
So he went to pay her his devours,
When he devoured his pay.

But when he called on Nelly Gray,
She made him quite a scoff;
And when she saw his wooden legs,
Began to take them off.

`O Nelly Gray! O Nelly Gray!
Is this your love so warm?
The love that loves a scarlet coat
Should be a little more uniform.`

Said she, `I loved a soldier once,
For he was blithe and brave;
But I will never have a man
With both legs in the grave.`

`Before you had those timber toes
Your love I did allow;
But then, you know, you stand upon
Another footing now.`

`O Nelly Gray! O Nelly Gray!
For all your jeering speeches,
At duty`s call I left my legs
In Badajos`s breaches.`

`Why, then,` said she, `you`ve lost the feet
Of legs in war`s alarms,
And now you cannot wear your shoes
Upon your feats of arms!`

`O false and fickle Nelly Gray!
I know why you refuse:
Though I`ve no feet, some other man
Is standing in my shoes.`

`I wish I ne`er had seen your face;
But, now, a long farewell!
For you will be my death — alas!
You will not be my Nell!`

Now when he went from Nelly Gray
His heart so heavy got,
And life was such a burden grown,
It made him take a knot.

So round his melancholy neck
A rope he did intwine,
And, for his second time in life,
Enlisted in the Line.

One end he tied around a beam,
And then removed his pegs;
And, as his legs were off — of course
He soon was off his legs.

And there he hung till he was dead
As any nail in town;
For, though distress had cut him up,
It could not cut him down.

A dozen men sat on his corpse,
To find out why he died, — 
And they buried Ben in four cross-roads
With a stake in his inside.
Source
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