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Marriott Edgar - The Battle Of HastingsMarriott Edgar - The Battle Of Hastings
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I`ll tell of the Battle of Hastings, As happened in days long gone by, When Duke William became King of England, And `Arold got shot in the eye. It were this way - one day in October The Duke, who were always a toff Having no battles on at the moment, Had given his lads a day off. They`d all taken boats to go fishing, When some chap in t` Conqueror`s ear Said `Let`s go and put breeze up the Saxons;` Said Bill - `By gum, that`s an idea.` Then turning around to his soldiers, He lifted his big Norman voice, Shouting - `Hands up who`s coming to England.` That was swank `cos they hadn`t no choice. They started away about tea-time - The sea was so calm and so still, And at quarter to ten the next morning They arrived at a place called Bexhill. King `Arold came up as they landed - His face full of venom and `ate - He said `lf you`ve come for Regatta You`ve got here just six weeks too late.` At this William rose, cool but `aughty, And said `Give us none of your cheek; You`d best have your throne re-upholstered, I`ll be wanting to use it next week.` When `Arold heard this `ere defiance, With rage he turned purple and blue, And shouted some rude words in Saxon, To which William answered - `And you.` `Twere a beautiful day for a battle; The Normans set off with a will, And when both sides was duly assembled, They tossed for the top of the hill. King `Arold he won the advantage, On the hill-top he took up his stand, With his knaves and his cads all around him, On his `orse with his `awk in his `and. The Normans had nowt in their favour, Their chance of a victory seemed small, For the slope of the field were against them, And the wind in their faces an` all. The kick-off were sharp at two-thirty, And soon as the whistle had went Both sides started banging each other `Til the swineherds could hear them in Kent. The Saxons had best line of forwards, Well armed both with buckler and sword - But the Normans had best combination, And when half-time came neither had scored. So the Duke called his cohorts together And said - `Let`s pretend that we`re beat, Once we get Saxons down on the level We`ll cut off their means of retreat.` So they ran - and the Saxons ran after, Just exactly as William had planned, Leaving `Arold alone on the hill-top On his `orse with his `awk in his `and. When the Conqueror saw what had happened, A bow and an arrow he drew; He went right up to `Arold and shot him. He were off-side, but what could they do? The Normans turned round in a fury, And gave back both parry and thrust, Till the fight were all over bar shouting, And you couldn`t see Saxons for dust. And after the battle were over They found `Arold so stately and grand, Sitting there with an eye-full of arrow On his `orse with his `awk in his `and.
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