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C J Dennis - Listen, Elaine!
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Listen, Elaine.  Tho` I`m not mad on racing,
   I like a little flutter now and then;
But I maintain you would not be disgracing
   The family, or look like some old hen
If you just wore -- Now, just a minute, please!
   That pinkish frock -- No, wait!  Let me explain.
That pinkish frock with spots -- You wouldn`t freeze!
   You`ve got your furs.  Aw, listen, please, Elaine!
 
Now, look.  We`ve twenty pounds.  Don`t let us quarrel.
   (Surely we can be sane and quite grown-up).
If you take most of that, what of the "moral"
   That Percy Podgrass gave us for the Cup?
Of course he`s sure to win.  What are vain dresses
   Compared -- My dear!  I did not call you vain!
Nor selfish either.  Gosh!  What married messes
   Start over clothes, and -- Listen, please, Elaine.
 
We`re partners, aren`t we?  Well, then, listen, darling.
   We might discuss this calmly, don`t you think?
Now!  Please be sensible ... I am not snarling!
   Rubbish!  Of course, you do look nice in pink.
I always thought that spotted pink looked dandy,
   And comfy, too.  Supposing it should rain.
Nice sight you`d look in -- What`s it called -- organdie ... 
   I was not wishing -- Listen, please!  Elaine!
 
Women just dress to spite some other tabby.
   Who said you were a cat?  One moment, pet.
Of course, I wouldn`t have my wife look shabby.
   Take what you need.  We`ll make a smaller bet ... 
Eight -- ten -- twelve quid!  Whew!  Not much left for betting.
   Still, just a flutter and expenses ... What?
Listen, Elaine.  What could I be forgetting?
   Hat?  Stockings?  Shoes to match? ... Here!
                    Take the lot!
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