---

C J Dennis - The Hacking Song
Work rating: Low

Yes, it`s tryin`, Mrs Gudgits.  Very tryin`, as you say.
To `ave a `usban` on yer `an`s not only night but day.
An` so I can`t go out with you, much as I wisht I could;
For me Jack is in there, gaspin` an` `e`s feelin` none too good.
With `is "`Ack! `Ack! `Ack!"  Lor!  I bangs `im on the back
An` `e curses me a treat for my stoopidity.
"`It a man," `e sez, "wot`s sick!"  Oh `is temper`s awful quick,
An` it ain`t so much the `eat as this youmidity.

Oh, I tries to in-ter-est `im in the topics of the day,
An` I reads `im from the noos wot Musserlini `as to say
But `e sez, "If Musserlini `ad me bronkil choobs an` chest,
`E`d `ave somethink else to think about, an` give `is was a rest."
Then it`s, "`Ack! `Ack! `Ack!" till `is face is nearly black,
But `e manidges to say, with much acidity,
"Blowin` peaceful blokes to death -- "Then `e stops fer want a` breath.
An` it ain`t so much the `eat as this youmidity.

Then I reads the weather forecask - all about the low an` `igh,
An `ow they sez most like the change is passin` Melbun by
But `e ups an` calls `em liars, an` `e starts to rave an` curse.
Sez I read that bit a-purpis for to try an` make `im worse.
Then it`s "`Ack! `Ack! `Ack!"  But, if I creeeps to the back,
`E recovers with remarkable rapidity.
An` `e yells, "`Ere! where ya goin`?  Don`t you leave a man alone!"
An` it ain`t so much the `eat as this youmidity.

Yes; a woman must `ave patience, Mrs Gudgits, as you say.
An` I knows without your `intin`, mum, that it`s my turn to pay.
So you needn`t cast nasturtiums; very gladly would I shout,
But, with a `usban` like `e is --  well, `ow can I git out?
Listen: "`Ack! `Ack! `Ack!"  Yeh needn`t yell.  I`m comin`, Jack!
There, Mrs Gudgits.  That`s the chief awkwidity:
Day an` night I must stop in; an` I do so miss me gin --
Not so much because of `eat as this youmidity.
Source
The script ran 0.001 seconds.