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C J Dennis - Why a Picnic, Jane?
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But, why a picnic, Jane?  We went last year,
   And missed the Cup; and you know how you grieved
Because we lost -- Oh! yes, you did, my dear.
   I had the tip, but I was not believed.
It`s just sheer nonsense to deny it all.
And when he won, you said, if you recall,
   You`d never miss a chance like that again.
   Well, cut the Cup.  But why a picnic, Jane?
 
You know how I hate picnics -- sticky things --
   The grizzling children and the dusty road,
The flies and all those crawlywigs with stings --
   My dear, I`m not selfish!  But that load
Of baskets -- Eh?  Back him at starting price?
   That`s an idea.  And then I could remain
To take you and the children? -- M`yes.  Quite nice.
   Jolly, of course.  But, why a picnic, Jane?
 
Wait!  Have you thought of burglars?  There you are!
   The empty house.  Remember that last case
Near here? ... Bright thought, my dear!  You take the car.
   You`ve solved it.  I`ll stay at home and mind the place.
Lonely?  Not I.  You take the car, of course.
   I`ve a good book; I`ll be all right alone.
That`s settled then ...  And now, about the horse.
   Wait here, and while I think of it, I`ll phone.
 
`Lo!  That you, Sam?  All set!  I can`t talk loud.
   `Lo!  can you hear me?  Listen, lad.  It`s on.
Tomorrow, yes.  Count me in the crowd.
   Your car -- about eleven.  They`ll be gone.
Great stunt, that picnic!  If we make the pace
We ought to get there for the second race.
   Well, Jane, that`s all fixed up.  I`ve backed our horse.
   Eh?  Help cut sandwiches?  Why, dear, of course.
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