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C J Dennis - Ballad of Bopard Defied
Work rating: Low

As I came to a playing-field on happy summer day
Two strudy youths I did espy; at cricket they did play.
   One had the ball, one had the bat, and, with a right good smack,
   As one tossed up the crimson sphere, the other smote it back.
Now, as I reached the bowler`s end, I saw the young man quail;
His hand they shook, his knees went crook, his face was ashen pale;
   Then, with a gulty kind of look, he cast the ball away,
   And in a weak and trembling voice these words to me did say:
   (In a tearful, pleading voice, with plenty of temolo and shivering grass.)
 
         "Don`t tell them that you saw me,
            Or that I misbehaved.
         Their methods over-aw me;
            But I would not be enslaved.
         I love my freeders, msiter, as much as any man;
            But, oh, I love my bit of cricket, too.
         And I dearly love to bowl,
         But the great Board of Control,
            They would chain me to their chariot if they knoo."
         (Adopt severe judicial manner, frowning darkly.)
  
"Young man," I said, "it grieves me this state of things to find,
For it is all too clear to me you have the crim`nal mind.
   Thus to play without a licence and the noble Board defy
   Is very reprehensible.  "Tut, tut!" I said, "Fie, fie!"
With salt tears streaming from his eyes, he bowed his head in shame.
"Come, come," I said, "there`s hope for you.  Buck up and play the game."
   Then I eyed the other stripling; but, much to my dismay,
   In tones most ungrammatical these words I heard him say: --
   (In ringing, defiant accents, full of roughneck pride.)
 
         "Go tell them that you seen me;
            Go bowl it in their ear.
         But no Board won`t come between me
            An` the game I `old so dear,
         I don`t want to go to Indier or England with no team,
            Fair Ostral-i-ar is good enough fur me!
         I will never sell me soul
         To no crool Board of Control;
            For me favorite game is ping-pong, an` I`m free!"
         (Finish on sustained top note, bowing deep to long and loud applause.)
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