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C J Dennis - Happy Heathen: (With limited apologies to G.K.C.)C J Dennis - Happy Heathen: (With limited apologies to G.K.C.)
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The heathen`s not efficient;   He sits down in the sun And doesn`t care a tuppn`y dump   When the day`s work`s begun. He works to eat and eats to live,   All day he`ll dance and sing; And if you mention overtime   He laughs like anything. But we are most efficient!   And, goodness! Look at us! Our nights are filled with restless dreams,   Our days with fret and fuss. And we can have depressions   And modern things like that, And monoplanes and motor cars   And trousers and a hat. The heathen`s not efficient;   He does not value gold; And when we`d teach him of its worth   He simply won`t be told. He`ll hang gold coins about his neck   For foolish ornament, While half a bread-fruit or a ham   Bring him complete content. Oh, we are most efficient;   We`d pile up heaps of gold And leave it to ungrateful heirs   When we descend to mould. But the heathen`s not efficient;   He is lazy, free, unkempt, And from the highly civilized   Earns nothing but contempt.
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