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C J Dennis - It Isn`t Cricket
Work rating: Low

Hello, old cobber.   Well, what`s on your mind?
   You`re lookin` awful gloomy and mysterious
Done in your dough?  The horses been unkind?
   Nobody ill?   I hope it`s nothin` serious.
Aw, don`t be funny.   Foreign what?  Affairs?
   Well, they ain`t happ`nin` this side of the Murray.
Nothin` in my young life, them blighters` cares,
   Why go so far away to look for worries?

What?  League o` Nations?  Look, you ain`t allowed
   Them sort of jokes.   There`s nothin` goin` to happen.
I lose no sleep about that comic crowd --
   A lot of glum old gaspots, always yappin`
Most of `em foreigners! . . . Aw, boy, wake up!
   That paper talk don`t cause my blood to curdle . . .
Time we was concentratin` on the Cup.
   Dam politics.   What`s fancied for the hurdle?

World politics?  A grown-up cove like you!
   Doin` your block that way!  It`s childish!  Reely!
I know a dozen foreign coves, I do --
   All ignorint.   Not edjicated freely,
Like me an` you; an` -- you know -- insular.
   Reel narrer-minded . . . Sport?  They couldn`t stick it --
No staminer. They ain`t built like we are . . .
   Aw, let`s talk somethin` sensible, like cricket.

War? . . . Listen to him!  Ain`t you wise to war?
   Just politicians` talk - coves of that kidney ...
Eh?  Troopships?  Headin` Melbourne way?  What for? ...
   Perish the crows?  They`ve just bombarded Sydney? ...
Look, this is murder!  What`s the bloomin` game?
   Sydney?  My brother?  All my wife`s relations!
Bombarded! ... Here; some coot must take the blame!
   Where`s the police?  Where`s this here League o` Nations?
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