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C J Dennis - The Hulk
Work rating: Low

      Now, `ere`s my tip
      Fer the Fusion ship,
   An` I tells it straight an` square.
      I`m a rare old tar
      As nigh an` far
   You`ll not meet ev`rywhere.
      I`ve seen `er sail
      In many a gale,
   But she`s done `er final trip;
So I `itches me breeches, an` a simple tale I pitches
   O` this good ole Fusion ship.


      `Twas Alf an` Joe,
      Long years ago,
   They built `er any `ow.
      `Twas a strange ole skiff
      With `er keel skew-wiff,
   An` a double-ended bow.
      Yus, a nose each end,
      An` a grecian bend
   Amidships, quaint an` queer.
When I seen `er take the water, "Ho!" ses I, "she is a snorter!"
   An` I gives a `earty cheer.


      An` sail she did.
      But I`l lay ten quid
   No ship, befor enor since,
      Done `ark `er tricks;
      `Er darned ole fix
   `Ud make longshoremen wince.
      She`d bob and bow,
      The blamed old scow,
   Like a wet an` foolish `en;
An` `er subsekint behav`er an` the effects fer to save `er
   Was a treat fer sialor-men.


      An` Alf `e was
      `Er skipper, `cos
   No other could be got
      To sail that craft!
      An` fore an` aft
   They was a rare ole lot.
      So queer a crew
      I never knew
   An` Joe, `e was fust mate.
An` to `ear `im scold and rate `er, when `e tried to navigate `er -
   Well, I tell yeh, it was great!


      Fer some they said
      To point `er `ead
   Fer nor`-nor`-east by east,
      Fer Tory Bay,
      An` some said "Nay,"
   An` the langwidge never eased.
      An` some they pressed
      To sail doo west,
   Fer the ole Freetection port.
An` the way she waltzed an` wobbled, while they `owled an` fought an` squabbled.
   Ho, I never seen sich sport!


      An` poor ole Joe!
      `Is watch below
   Was mostly short an` sweet;
      Fer `e never knew
      Wot time that crew
   Might up an` change `er beat.
      But Alf, the boss,
      `E took `is doss,
   An` `e let `er sail or stop;
Fer in days when seas was finer `e was skipper of a liner,
   An` `e sorter felt the drop.


      Now, she dropped at last
      `Er anchor fast
   In the `arbor of Recess.
      `Er sheets is tore,
      An` `er plates is wore,
   An` she`ll sail no more, I guess.
      Alf got the pip
      On `er final trip,
   An` there`s some as said `e swore
`E was sickened of `er capers; so `e `anded in `id papers,
   An` she`ll put to sea no more.


      But it`s `ip, `ip, `ip!
      fer the Fusion ship,
   Fer the navigatin` `en!
      Since `er cruise begun
      She `as give great fun
   To us `eart sailor-men.
      We `ave cheered an` laughed
      An` joked an` chaffed
   Since the day she put to sea;
So I takes a pull and `itches (as our `abit is) my breeches,
   An` I give `er three times three.
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