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C J Dennis - The Candid Candidate
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Alfred Ebenezer Jackson was a very earnest man,
Who aspired to be a statesman, and he consequently ran
At a general election as the Candid Candidate,
Sworn to tell the truth ungarbled, leaving all the rest to Fate.


Jackson had a firm conviction that the average M.P.
Was not prefectly straightforward as a member ought to be.
"They disguise their actual motives," Jackson said, "and so they fail.
I shall leave no false suspicion that I`m sitting on a rail."


"Fellow men," quoth Ebenezer, in his first campaign address.
"My desire to gain election is most eager, I confess:
True, some patriotic ardor fills me with its holy fire;
But to get a safe and steady billet is my main desire.


"Now, to put the matter plainly, I`ve no wish to twist or hedge,
And I`m quite prepared to stand to all the things that I allege.
I aspire to serve Australia in the Big Affairs of State:
To that aim all local interests gladly I`ll subordinate.


"I shall give no hasty promise for the sake of votes from you.
Roads and bridges you shall have them when they are your right and due;
But wre this whole country`s interest clashes with your local lot,
Then my vote is for Australia and the rest can go to pot!


"I`ll not stoop to curry favor for the sake of your back yard,
While the Big Things of the nation call for labor long and hard;
For I`m not of those hard grafters whose chief work is turning coats,
With their thoughts on next election, and their eyes upon your votes.


"Party ties shall never hold me when I hear Australia call,
Through my service to the nation do I seek to stand or fall.
And to talk election piffle in the House, if I be sent
There to work, I`ll deem an insult to the folk I represent.


"I shall scheme to drag no railway through the back yard of this State;
Nor on any handy dust-heap in this dashed electorate
Shall I vote to plant a city, while the fact is evident
That  abtter site is waiting elsewhere on the continent.


"I am solid for Protection: but my creed I won`t abuse
By mean tricks to shift the duty from commodities you use:
Nor shall I denounce with loathing Socialists` experiments
While I howl for State assistance for my own constituents.


"Now, my worthy friends, you know me, and just what I mean to do.
As plain people of Australia I am ev`ry time for you,
With my eyes upon the future and this great land`s destiny,
I shall not to `local interests` sacrifice prosterity."


Alfred Ebenezer Jackson raised a wild, derisive shout
From "intelligent electors."  "Mad!" they said, "without a doubt."
And because they knew he meant it - ev`ry work he spoke or wrote -
Alfred Ebenezer Jackson did not get a single vote!
Source
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