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C J Dennis - Granny Discovers Another Tiger
Work rating: Low

That`s him!!  The authentic, identical beast!
   The Unionist tiger, full brother to "Sosh"!
I know by the prowl of him.
Hark to the growl of him,
   While all the people ejaculate "Gosh!
Just look at him glarin` an` starin`, by thunder!
Now each for himself and the weakest goes under."


Beware this injurious, furious brute;
   He`s ready to rend you with tooth and with claw.
Though `tis incredible,
Anything edible
   Disappears suddenly into his maw;
Into his cavernous inner interior
Vanishes ev`rything strictly superior.


My dears, I`ve autoptical, optical proof
   That he`s prowling and growling at large in the land.
Hear his pestiferous
Clamor vociferous
   Urging to war his belligerent band!
Talk about Circe and - who`s this - Ulysses!
Never was monster so monstrous as this is.


I`ve watched this abdomenous, omnious shape
   Abroad in the land while the nation has slept,
Marked his satanical
Methods tyrannical;
   Rigorous, vigorous vigil I kept.
He has wicked designs on all right-thinking people!
Proclaim it aloud from the housetop and steeple!


He lays his corrodible, odible plans
   While cutely disguising his ultimate claims.
Into your auricle
Words oratorical
   He will declaim with ulterior aims.
And if as a foe he should happen to spot us,
One gulp - and his great epiglottis has got us!


The tremulous, emulous workers he snares
   By most reprehensible, tensible schemes.
Slyly insidious,
Vilely invidious
   Are his designs to encourage their dreams.
But watch, when they`re under his dominant digit,
His finical, cynical smile as they fidget.


The shockingly punitive, unitive means
   He uses to battle with enterprise private
Are indefensible
Quite reprehensible.
   Lord only knows what at last he`ll arrive at!
And when he has swallowed the whole of the nation
He`ll probably start on self-assimilation.


He scoffs at convenient, lenient laws -
   He`d scoff every toff in the House known as Upper
If he`d a precedent;
Every resident
   In the best suburb would serve him for supper.
Good gravious, voracious is hardly the name for it!
Yet we have only our blindness to blame for it.


For mark, his insidious, hideous creed
   He propagates even `mid grocers and drapers,
And they give ear to it,
Bow, and adhere to it,
   `Spite all the capers of well-informed papers.
For e`en with the aid of an lens omphaloptic
They can`t see the glare in his obdurate optic.


Then `ware this obstreperous, leperous beast!
   A treacherous wretch, for I know him of old.
I`m on th etrack of him,
Close at the back of him,
   Tight on his tail I have taken a hold.
And if I gave over my earnest endeavor,
The nation were lodged in his larynx for ever.


It`s him!! The authentic, identical beast!
  I know him "The Unionist," brother to "Sosh"!
See how I`m holding him,
Nagging and scolding him,
   While he is yearning his betters to squash;
Yearning and burning to snare the superior
Into his roomy and gloomy interior
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