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C J Dennis - It`s No Joke to One Bloke
Work rating: Low

Dear Comrade: In the game of politics
A Senator gits quite enough of kicks
   Without `is photer sittin` in the press
   Wot makes `is map look like a nasty mess --
A pitcher that present `im to the mob
         A fair gazob.

Me, I ain`t vain, but it is past a joke
To go an` print a crook dile of a bloke
   So that the mob sez, "Is this Digger?  Struth!
   `E`s changed a good bit since `is flamin` youth.
We thort `e was a better lookin` chap.
         Strike!  Wot a man!"

Why make me look like somethin` choice in crooks?
For, if I ain`t got nothin` but me looks,
   Why, gimme looks, an` bung a photer in
   That gives me sex-appeal a dinkum spin
I ain`t -- (For w`ich remark `e`ll please excuse)
         No Billy Hughes.

An` so, I sends `erewith me dinkum chiv --
The dinkum Digger, w`ich I `ope you`ll give
   A bit o` space to `elp along your sales --
   An` mind you say I come from Noo South Wales!
That ought to fetch `em.  So you play your part,
        An` `ave a `eart.
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