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C J Dennis - A Matter Of Degree
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B. SMITH would most undoubtedly be very, very cross
If some rude person called him Jap, and yet, I`m at a loss
To see how he could argue otherwise in that respect:
A Jap is human - or a rumour’s rife to that effect.
And he talks and argues much the same as B.
         So, if SMITH is not a twin
         To his cherished Yellow-skin,
Why it`s only just a matter of degree,
Just a trifling little matter of degree.


Now, a Jap is not a monkey. though he`s oft compared with such,
And he doesn`t look unlike one, so it hardly matters much.
A monkey has a fearsome phiz, and hands that grab at things,
And he imitates his betters - all of which the matter brings
To a very clear conclusion, seems to me,
         Which you cannot fairly funk:
         If a Jap is not a monk -
Ey, it`s patently a matter of degree.
And we needn`t mind a matter of degree.


Of native monkeys hereabout, of course, you haven`t heard;
And a monkey`s not a native bear, which, clearly, is absurd,
And yet, a bear clings to a tree with young bears on its back
(My word! we`re getting on a rather interesting tack) -
Yes, it clings there like the cheerful chimpanzee.
         So, if monkeys are not bears
         Quite exactly - well, who cares?
When it`s noticing but a matter of degree.
You call hardly notice matters of degree!


Well, bears are very plainly never bunyips, at first glance;
But wait a bit and give SMITH`s reasoning a sporting chance.
They are both Australian, purely; there is no denying that;
And they both live in the bush, so there you have it, clear and pat.
And "bear" and "bunyip" both begin with "b."
         So, it`s clearly in the game
         That if these are not the same -
Well, who`d quarrel with a matter of degree?
We ignore these little matters of degree.


I suppose `twill be admitted that a bunyip is a myth,
Without adopting arguments resorted to by SMITH?
But we`ve never seen a bunyip, and the myths are pretty rare;
So there seems to be a solid sort of fam`ly likeness there.
And it`s pretty safe to reason, seems to me,
         If a bunyip and a sprite
         Aren`t about an equal height,
Well, at most, it`s but a matter of degree,
Just a simple little matter of degree.


So, overlooking certain petty matters of degree,
We are forced to these conclusions with undoubted certaintee:
B. SMITH`S a Jap, a Jap`s an ape (according unto SMITH),
An ape`s a bear, a bear`s a bunyip, and the last`s a myth!
It`s as clear as any argument can be -
         That if our dear friend SMITH
         Is not a simple myth
It`s an unimportant matter of degree,
Quite a microscopic matter of degree.
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