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C J Dennis - The Lingothatweuze
Work rating: Low

I metabloke in Collun-street -
   A cove I yustano
When I wus workin Southoss,
   A yeerertwo ago.

Sezzi, "Well, owye kumminup?
   I spose yehnomee still?"
`E grabsme betha `andansiz,
    "W`y owsheegoinbil?"

"Well, wotchadoinow?" sizzi,
   Alludin` to `is work.
"I aven gotakop," sezee,
   "At presen`.  Wot`s your lurk?"

"I`m upagenit pritty bad,
   An` lookin` furra job,"
I answers.  Then I bytsiz lug:
   "Say, kinyeh lensa bob?"

`E anzitover.  Then Isiz,
   "Well, wotsbekumaflo?"
Referrin` to a tartuviz -
   But eesiz, "Idunno.

"She yusta gimmelip," eesiz,
   "Anso we ata paht.
Ixceptin fere mag," eesiz,
   "Shewuza boshtataht."

"Shewuz orright piece," sizzi,
  "Althoer tongue wus free."
An then I springsa traponim:
   "I seener yestadee."

"Gostrooth!" sizee.  "I didunno
   Thet shewuz ovareer!
I `ope she izen chasinmee;
   Buttit looks bloominqueer."

"Orright," sizzi, "don`t loosyerblock,
   You`ll meeter byunbye.
But she won`trubble you bekos
   I`ve marrider," sizzi.

"Well, sparemedays, it beatstha band
   `Ow these things workeround!
But after wotcha say," sizzee,
   "I`ll standja ina pound."

"A quid`s orright," sizzi, "but still
  I dunnowota think."
"Don`t chewitover now," sizzee,
  "But cumanavadrink.`

We adabeer an` didagit;
  An` I`ve dunnin the Quid.
Ewuza tofter giime it.
  I wunnerwye edid?
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