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C J Dennis - The Bloke Wot Gits The Girls
Work rating: Low

`E passes by, each day, at ten -
   A bottle-shouldered yid
Wot looks as if `e pushed a pen
   An` drawes a weekly quid;
`E`s always with some little lass;
   (By cripes, `e gets some pearls!)
We calls `im, watchin` of `em pass,
   The bloke wot gits the girls.


An` strewth! it beats me outer sight
   `Ow girls can stand `im - straight!
`E don`t go five-feet-two in height
   Or eight-stun-two in weight;
`E couldn`t swing a pick, - or scrap, -
   Soft `ands an` sheeny curls!
`E`s just a sorter - well, mishap,
   The Bloke wot gits the girls.


But yet each day some bit o` fluff
   Trips by, with this `ere fraud,
A-breathin`-in `is silly guff
   As if `e wos a gawd.
`E shoots `is cuffs, `e swings `is canes,
   `Is spiky mo `e twirls, -
`E seems to mesmerise the Janes,
   The bloke wot gits the girls!


Well, tarts is tarts - it`s `ow they`re built:
   I s`pose their gawd is clo`es;
But `im - the puffed-up piece o` gilt,
   I`d like to punch `is nose!
A-struttin`, starin` round about
   As if `is kind was earls!
Cripes!  `Ow I`d like to pass `im out -
   The bloke wot gits the girls!
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